Tonight we will be bidding a fond farewell to our fearless leader Chris. He will be travelling to Israel to make the world safe for math stuff that I frankly do not understand. It must be important because the Israelis are stealing our President for it, but I digress Please join us at six on the hopefully sunny lawn outside the PurnellBuilding thingamabob where the actors and artistic types make noise during the summer months (I should learn what stuff is named at CMU). There will be cake and maybe some other kind of food stuff to celebrate the tenure of Chris Lambie-Hanson’s time as our president. This will also be the first time anywhere that a set of 5.3 ounce balls made in Andrew Carnegie’s tartan will be unveiled. Andrew Carnegie’s Balls have been loving crafted by local American Child Labor for this special occasion. They were then stuffed with the finest millet (cheap micro waved bird seed) that could be purchased at a hardware store in Mt.Oliver. Each ball has a special section where you can write farewell messages or give Chris useful Hebrew phrases like סינית מסעדה (Chinese Restaurant), חדר אמבטיה Bath Room, מקלט (Bomb Shelter).
So everyone please come this Thursday to wish Chris farewell and sign a set of Tartan balls so he has something to remember us by.
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