Ngomong - ngomong soal tato, nih ada juga cerita yang nggak terlalu beda
jauh sih.
1.Adalah seorang pria Amerika yang sangat mencintai istrinya. Suatu ketika
dia ingin membuat kejutan kepada isterinya, selagi isterinya pergi dinas
keluar negeri. Sebelum isterinya kembali, dia pergi ke toko tatto untuk
membuat nama isterinya ('Wendy') di kemaluannya. Keesokan harinya dia
diminta untuk menjemput isterinya di bandara.
Setibanya di bandara ternyata penerbangan yang membawa isterinya belum tiba,
maka pria tersebut pergi ke WC untuk buang air kecil sekaligus memeriksa
tattonya. Di samping pria Amerika tsb, juga ada Pria Jamaika yang sedang
kencing. Sambil melirik ke sebelahnya, ternyata orang Jamaika itu juga
memiliki tatto di kemaluannya, dan huruf yang muncul juga sama 'We..'
Wah sangat kebetulan sekali, pikir si orang Amerika tersebut, dengan percaya
diri dan bangganya dia menyapa si Jamaika, 'Wah kebetulan sekali kita
memiliki tatto di lokasi yang sama dan huruf yang sama. Tattoku 'Wendy' nama
isteriku. Pasti isterimu bernama 'Wendy' juga bukan ?'
'Tidak, tattoku 'Welcome to Beautiful Jamaika .....!'
2.The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a
sight-seeing tour with a very rich African king who was a very
important client.
The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the
secretary is quite taken
aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her don't reject the
guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the
businessman from wanting to marry her.
So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry
you under three
conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75-carat diamond
ring with a
matching 200-carat diamond tiara."
The African king pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says, "No
problem!! I
have. I have." Realizing her first condition was too easy the woman
says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100-room mansion in New
York. As a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the
best wine country in France.
"The African king pauses for awhile. He whips out his cellular phone and
calls some
brokers in New York and in France. He looks at the woman, nods his head
and says,
"Okay, okay. I build. I build." Realizing that she only has one last
condition, the secretary knows that she'd better make this a good one.
She takes her time to think and finally she gets an idea. A sure-to-work
condition. She squints her eyes, looks at the man and says, rather
coldly, "Since I like sex, I want the man I marry to have a 14-inch
penis."
The king seems a bit disturbed. He cups his face with his hands and
rests his elbows on the table, all the while muttering in African
dialect. Finally, after what seemed like
forever, the king shakes his head, looking really sad, and says to the
woman, "Okay,
okay. I cut. I cut."
3. Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in Purgatory
being sized up by God...
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure whether to
send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by
putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you
created that ghastly Windows 95. I'm going to do something I've never done
before.
In your case, I'm going to let you decide where you want to go!"
Bill replied, "Well, thanks, God. What's the difference between the two?"
God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly if it will help
you make a decision." "Fine, but where should I go first?" God
said, "I'm going to leave that up to you." Bill said, "OK, then, let's
try Hell first." So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy
beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running
around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was
shining and the temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased. "This is
great!"
he told God, "If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!"
"Fine," said God and off they went. Heaven was a high place in the clouds,
with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice but not as
enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his
decision. "Hmm,
I think I prefer Hell" he told God. "Fine," retorted God, "as you
desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to
see how he was doing in Hell. When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill
shackled to a wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave. He was
being burned and tortured by demons.
"How's everything going, Bill?" God asked. Bill responded - his
voice full of anguish and disappointment, "This is awful, this is not what I
expected. I can't believe this happened. What happened to that
other place with the beaches and the beautiful women
playing in the water?" God says, "That was the screen saver".
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