This has been around for a few years, but seems appropriate
again...

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter
festival, my
Significant Other in a consenting adult monogamous
relationship gave
to me:

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual
drumming,
ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made
up of
members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as
called for in their
union contract even though they will not be asked to play a
note).

TEN melanin-deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the
patriarchal ruling class system leaping,

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-_expression,

EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing
milk-
products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected
wetlands,

SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human
animal
products,

FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced
domestic incarceration,

(NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front
threatened to
throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French
hens and
partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To
avoid further
Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has
been
revised.)

FOUR hours of recorded whale songs,

THREE deconstructionist poets,

TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree
carcasses,
and

ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

Blessed Yule.
Merry Christmas.
Happy Chanukah/Hanukkah.
Good Kwanzaa.
Oh, heck! Happy Holidays!!!! (unless otherwise prohibited by
law).

Unless, of course, you are suffering from Seasonally
Affected Disorder
(SAD). If this be the case, please substitute this
gratuitous call for
celebration with a suggestion that you have a thoroughly
adequate
day.

Clay Blackwell
Lynchburg, VA

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