I think, Betty Ann, that this is a "take" on a very old monologue which was
often played on the radio when I was a young girl....a report by a couple of
Irish workers on a similar incident.  The details have been changed slightly.

Ruth Budge (Sydney, Australia)

Clive and Betty Ann Rice <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: Australian Bricklayer
Report:

This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the
newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation
board. This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a
Darwin Award for sure...

Dear Sir:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in
Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause
of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the
following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working
alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work,
I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were
found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.

Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a
barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building
on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the
roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it.

Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a
slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident
report form that I weigh 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off
the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go
of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of
the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now
proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the
fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed
in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I
continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right
hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able
to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight
of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you
again to my weight.

As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the
building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming
up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several
lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel
seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries, when I fell into the
pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am
sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain,
unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let
go of the rope, and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its
journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.

Kind Regards,
Mike Pashby

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