As for feeling aggrieved, however (leaving aside the cases in which a pal just drops from the face of the earth, with no explanation to either the organizer or the paired-pal), reading the lists of items over the years, I suspect that the joy of collecting to give has caused some participants to expect a large number, and to feel aggrieved if they get only a single item. That is understandable, especially if they have sent a huge parcel and received a tiny one. However, not everyone can afford to send quantities of items, especially overseas.
Perhaps there ought to be a more-firmly-suggested spending limit, or perhaps there should be another field in the match-making: "how much I intend to spend on a single parcel", so that people who can afford to buy and ship the moon by rocket can be paired with each other, rather than with someone who would like to participate but can only afford one token item a month. By restricting him/herself to the agreed-upon amount during the exchange, there would be less cause for feeling "taken". If at the end of the exchange, the two had enjoyed each other a lot, maybe a private, non-secret-exchange gift NOT acknowledged on the list would allow indulging the urge to give more without causing a general upping of the amount expected?
-- ---------------------------------------------------------- Martha Krieg [EMAIL PROTECTED] in Michigan
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