Gentle Spiders,
Last night, I received one of those e-messages which send a mega-volt adrenaline shot through the veins of any pattern designer: "I came accross a design of yours, love it, would like to make it, can you send the pattern and some tips on how to make it". The lady in quest of the pattern (a butterfly; she plans to plaster a whole wall with different ones, which I think is a *splendid* idea) has the *cover* of a IOLI Bulletin, peach-coloured, she thinks it might be a '92 issue, the photo is on the back...
My adrenaline level zoomed down... I'd been making lace since March '90 (started in March 89 actually, but went totally nuts when my Mother died Thanksgiving of that year, and it took me a while to recover and re-start from scratch), but, until '95, I didn't design much. In fact, the '92 pattern was the first one ever to be published, and, as a pattern, it stank, because I lacked experience everywhere I turned - reducing the text to minimum, drawing clear diagrams... You name it, it wasn't there, but it was still 6 type-written pages :)
IOLI, bless their heart, sent back all the materials I supplied (with a little note saying they were unable to include all the text and all the diagrams within the magazine. I should think not! <g>) so, much to my own surprise, I have everything I need to send to my correspondent ('91, when the pattern was designed, was *long before* 'puter time. And then, I had some puter spells where the machine ate the text. Later patterns are as uncertain as the earlier ones).
Cheerful again, I replied to the message from the person who likes my butterfly. I used the subject line she had used - instructions - so that she could recognize it easily. I had some doubts about the subject line - I almost ditched it as spam when I saw it, in conjunction with an unknown e-address - but, surely, since she'd *originated* it...
My return message (we did, eventually, manage to make contact) to my correspondent regarding my experience with Earthlink follows. Hope you'll enjoy it - it's funny, if you're not at one end of the situation :)
Earthlink's defence against "spam terrorists" reminds me of a novel by Jules Verne (don't remember the title and, anyway, I read it in Polish <g>), where one one town kept building ever-heavier cannon to destroy its enemy city, while the "enemy city" kept building ever-thicker walls to defend itself... Waste of time, money, and mental energy, and an entirely pointless exercise, but both sides were very excited about it :) As was Soviet Union and Poland before '89 (when we were fighting "the enemy" in the West), and as are some people in US now (when we're fighting "the enemy" in the Middle-East).
Pox on both your houses. And never forget the pox on technology...
I replied to your message, and was told - in seconds - that it had been rejected by Earthlink's spam filter (probably due to an ambiguous subject line). I was told to "please fill out the attached registration form..." I do, and am rejected again; "first name does not conform to Earthlink standards; only letters A-Z or a-z are acceptable. Yes, so what's the problem? Three times I try to fill out the "card", three times I'm rejected... It finally dawns on me that Tamara P. (first name format I use in Mac Mail) is not acceptable, because of the extra dot. A couple more tries, and I get the *name* right.
Then, the toussle regarding the rest of the "application" begins. I'm to write a message - in 100 characters or fewer (possibly, it said "less" <g>) - to you, telling you why you should accept a message from me. Do spaces count as "characters"? In my U days they did, so I'm counting it all twice, and being *very conservative* (doesn't come easy to me <g>). Then, to confirm that I'm a living, breathing, entity and not a dumb machine, I'm to copy a series of letters that I'm supposed to see ("if visually impaired, please click here". Hellooo???). Is it necessary that the letters be copied in capitals (as shown), or would lower case (easier to type) suffice? I might have taken chances with a communist system, but don't dare to with a puter, so capitals it is... Apparently, it all worked, and you got the message, but I hope to The Higher She, that you've now accepted my e-address as legitimate, *permanently*; I'm not going through this again...
And I thought *Postini* was a pain in the neck... It's a reasonable darling, compared to this rigamarole... :)
--- Tamara P Duvall http://lorien.emufarm.org/~tpd Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland) Healthy US through The No-CARB Diet: no C-heney, no A-shcroft, no R-umsfeld, no B-ush.
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