On Feb 13, 2005, at 17:55, Carol Adkinson wrote:
I'm Amazed.
Since when have we all been judged, by our female peers, by our faces?
There's my girl... :)
For 31+ yrs DH would comment on a male (student, politician, whatever): "intelligent, honest, hardworking" (etc, etc). For 31+ years, he'd comment on a female: "not very good looking, but intelligent, honest, hardworking" (etc, etc). For 31+ yrs it has rubbed me the wrong way...
I tried asking him about the looks of the males ("didn't notice; does it matter?" NO, dummy; but neither does it matter for a female; why catalogue it?)... I tried to ask him why looks are supposed to count for women but not for men ("don't know; that's how things are." My foot!)... We went through the same routine the other day (31+ yrs and my blood pressure still doubles <g>); the owner of Hewlett Packard (female) has been eased out, and her photo was on the front page. My *DH's* first reaction was: "good looking, though no spring chicken". *My* first reaction was: "too late for all the people who've lost their jobs due to her mismanagement"... First things first, and looks are a *loooong way* from being first...
am glad that our messages don't have video pictures
Mine do, if I'd been lucky enough to meet the person and remembered to capture the image, or scrounged it off the web somewhere :) Mac has this *yummy* feature, which lets me see the person at the same time I see their header; it makes my correspondence much more personal, and I love it (never mind that everyone at lace gatherings thinks I'm nuts, because I go around with my digital, and ask people if they're Arachneans. "For my 'puter", I explain, which is not much of an explanation to PC users <g>)
We come to expect that sort of judgement from some of the males of our acquaintance, but it saddens me a lot that we can be as uncharitable to our less-well-endowed sisters.
I think where it comes from - not always, but a lot of times - is from women accepting the male point of view, without questioning its superiority (or even validity) much, possibly even without being aware of doing it. Not entirely surprising, when you think about it; men have ruled the world for hundreds of years, so - the subconscious whispers seductively - they *must* know the "secret"... It's a bit like kids mouthing off the beliefs of their parents; parents (ie adults) rule so, however much we fight them and think they're wrong, we suspect they must, indeed, know something we don't know...
For all her alleged plainness,
I don't see it myself; could wish *I* wore as well at her age... Though *not*, if it got me the attention of Charlie-in-the-waiting <g> He was my Mother's choice of mate for me - only a royal was good enough for her home-grown "princess", and he was the right age <g> - but I couldn't thole him even at 15... :) If "dame of camelia" managed to put up with his face next to hers in the morning for all those many years, good luck to them both.
-- Tamara P Duvall http://t-n-lace.net/ Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland)
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