If your country doesn't have agricultural subsidies, then the joke is
likely to be incomprehensible. But, to those of us who do, and who are
well aware that the recent WTO talks in Switzerland failed because of
disagrements about that issue, it's hysterical...
From: B.R.
TO: Honorable Secretary of Agriculture Washington, D.C
Dear Sir,
I have been evacuated from New Orleans because the flood took my old
trailer and beat up car. I thought I might go into business to
supplement
my welfare check.
My friend over at Wells, Iowa received a check for $1,000 from the
Government for not raising hogs. Right now I'm getting extra help from
the
government and Red Cross while I'm displaced but when that stops I want
to
go into the "not-raising-hogs" business.
What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm
not
to raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to raise? I
want
to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with all
governmental
policies. I would prefer not to raise razor backs, but if that is not a
good breed not to raise, then I will just as gladly not raise Yorkshires
or Durocs. As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be in
keeping an accurate inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised.
My friend, Peterson, is very joyful about the future of the business.
He has been raising hogs for twenty years or so, and the best he ever
made
on them was $422 in 1968, until this year when he got your check for
$1000
for not raising hogs.
If I get $1000 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2000 for not raising
100 hogs? I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself
down
to about 4000 hogs not raised, which will mean about $80,000 the first
year. Then I can afford an airplane.
Now another thing, these hogs I will not raise will not eat 100,000
bushels of corn. I understand that you also pay farmers for not raising
corn and wheat. Will I qualify for payments for not raising wheat and
corn
not to feed the 4000 hogs I am not going to raise?
Also, I am considering the "not milking cows" business, so send me any
information you have on that too. In view of these circumstances, you
understand that I will be totally unemployed and plan to file for
unemployment and food stamps.
Be assured you will have my vote in the coming election.
Patriotically Yours,
Ima Taker
PS Please notify me when you are giving out more free cheese.
--
Tamara P Duvall http://t-n-lace.net/
Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland)
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