Posting this here because it has nothing to do with lace, but related to
what was being discussed there.
There were a couple of comedians performing (one is now dead) called the Two
Ronnies (Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett). Barker wrote many sketches under
an assumed name because he didn't know if they would be good enough. One was
set in a (probably) German cafe about a customer wanting ham and eggs, and
was based entirely on letters of the alphabet.
Ronnie Corbett: L.O.
Ronnie Barker: L.O.
Ronnie Corbett: R.U.B.C?
Ronnie Barker: S.V.R.B.C.
Various Characters: [enter waitress carrying a large ham on a silver salver]
L.O.
Ronnie Barker: L.O.
Ronnie Corbett: L.O.
[exit waitress into kitchen]
Ronnie Corbett: F.U.N.E.X?
Ronnie Barker: S.V.F.X.
Ronnie Corbett: F.U.N.E.M?
Ronnie Barker: 9.
Ronnie Corbett: I.F.C.D.M.
Ronnie Barker: [insistently] V.F.N.10.E.M.
Various Characters: [enter waitress from kitchen still carrying the ham] A.
V.F.M.
Ronnie Corbett: R.
Ronnie Corbett: O.
Various Characters: C. D.M.
[exit waitress into kitchen]
Ronnie Barker: O.S. V.F.M.
Ronnie Corbett: O.K. M.N.X.
Ronnie Barker: M.N.X.
Ronnie Corbett: F.U.N.E.T?
Ronnie Barker: 1 T.
Ronnie Corbett: 1 T.
Ronnie Barker: O.K. M.X.N.T.
[he finishes writing it on his pad with a flourish and calls at the kitchen
door]
Ronnie Barker: M.X.N.T.4.1.
They did another very famous one on different word meanings and
pronunciation known as "Four candles" set in an old-fashioned hardware shop
with the customer asking for various items and the shop keeper coming up
with the wrong things. Examples were:
"Four candles" - "fork handles" - handles for forks.
"ose" shop keeper produced hose (stockings), garden hose for watering-
wanted letter Os for a house name Mon Repose.
The whole script is on
http://www.angelfire.com/me/tvcomedy/fourcandles.html. The actual sketch is
on utube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cz2-ukrd2VQ
Wonderful what you can do with language.
Jean in Poole, Dorset, UK
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