Creeping into your life: the surveillance state that knows all about you!
Just a taster:
Telephonist: Pizza Hut, good morning
Customer: Good morning, I’d like to order a couple of pizzas.
T: May I have your ID car number, please?
C: That’s 222 0033653 52.
T: Thank you Mr Johnson. Your address is 256 Hedgefundstreet, your home tel
number is 08835 123456. Your work tel number at Dexia is 6788965 and your
mobile number is 0345 67 89. From which location are you ringing?
C: Uh, I am at home. Where did you get all this info about me?
T: We are connected to The System.
C: (deep sigh) Oh well then. Can I have two pizzas with ham, mozerella and
....
T: Sie, I do not think that’s such a good idea.
C: Why not?
T: According to your medical records you have high blood pressure and very
high blood cholesterol level; your medical insurance will refuse payment for
any effects of detrimental eating habits. Also, we will be find for
supplying you with said food.
C: Right, so what do you recommend?
T : why don’t you try our Pizza with yoghurt and soy-bits. I’m sure you’ll
like it.
C: What makes you say that I’ll like it?
T: Your wife recently borrowed a book from the local library titled “ Tasty
recipes with Soy”.
C: Okay, I’ll have two of those then; one for me and one for my wife.
T: That’s £30 total.
C: Great, I’ll give you my credit card number. It is .....
T: Sorry sir, but you have already gone over our credt limit. You’ll have to
pay cash.
C: No problem, I’ll get the money from the cash point before the delivery
guy arrives.
T: That could be a problem sir, there is nothing left in your bank account.
C: (quite angry) That’s none of your business. Just get the pizzas to me and
I’ll ensure I’ll have the cash waiting here. How long will it be?
T: The pizzas should get there within the hour. If you’re in a hurry you can
pick them up here and pay cash. But transporting pizzas by motorbike
C: Well, it says here that you did not pay the car loan payments in time,
and that your car has been repossessed. But your motorbike has been paid
off, so I assume you’ll use that.
C: %@^5*(“”””” !!!!!!
T: No need for such language, sir!
C: (speechless)
T: Anything else, sir?
C: No .... oh yes there is: don’t forget the 2L bottle of Coke which is free
with any order according to your brochure.
T: sorry, sir, but our terms & conditions clearly forbid is to offer free
drinks to diabetics .... how about something sugar-free, instead?
Of course you’ll have to pay for it as it is not on offer.
C: Hangs up
Agnes Boddington - Elloughton UK
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