Life  in the Australian Army...

  Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum  and Dad. (For 
Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a smalltown, in 
the  outback west of Quilpie in the far south west of 
Queensland).  PS:  The best line is the one at the bottom of the letter.


Dear Mum & Dad,

  I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big  brothers Doug and Phil 
that the Army is better than workin' on the farm -  tell them to get 
in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone!
  I  wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta 
get outta  bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya 
gotta do before brekky  is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean 
ya uniform. No bloody cows to  milk, no calves to feed, no feed to 
stack - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower  though, but its not so bad, 
coz there's lots a hot water and even a light to  see what ya doing!

  At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but  there's no kangaroo 
steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get  fed again 
until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered 
because  we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just like 
walking to the  windmill in the back paddock!!

  This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil  with laughter. I keep 
getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye  is as big as a 
bloody possum's bum and it don't move and it's not firing back  at ya 
like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their 
prize  cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make 
yourself comfortable  and hit the target - it's a piece of piss!! You 
don't even load your own  cartridges they comes in little boxes and 
ya don't have to steady yourself  against the rollbar of the roo 
shooting truck when you reload!

  Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys  and I gotta be real 
careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with  Doug and 
Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we 
do  at home after the muster.
  Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks  like I'm the 
best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one  bloke 
from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick 
handles  across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and 
eight stone  wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other blokes 
carried me off to the  boozer.

  I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys  to get in quick 
before word gets around how bloody good it is.

  Your loving daughter,

  Sheila
via David in Ballarat

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