The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I
was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my
reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it
was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.
Old Age, I decided, is a gift.
I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have
always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my
body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often
I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who
looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.
I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving
family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've
become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become
my own friend.
I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making
my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but
looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be
messy, to be extravagant.
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before
they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer
until 4 AM and sleep until noon?
I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and
if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging
body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to,
despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is
just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart
not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even
when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are
what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart
never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of
being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning
gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep
grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have
died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about
what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've
even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me
free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live
forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting
what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall
eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)
MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT
FROM THE HEART!
MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A RAINBOW OF SMILES ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR
HEART FOREVER AND EVER!
FRIENDS FOREVER!
David in Ballarat
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