>Grandparents: > >1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the >watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times >before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the >little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper >good-bye!" I will probably neverput lipstick on again without >thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye... > >2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. >He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet >for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?" > >3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed >into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. >As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her >patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and >stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern >warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say >with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?" > >4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own >childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond I had a >swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We >rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little >girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure >wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!" > >5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you >know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I >said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied. > >6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's >word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it >about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read." > >7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so >I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what >color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun >for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, >"Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these, yourself!" > >8.. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept >the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky >insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before >I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are >coming after us with flashlights." > >9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, >"I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised, "mine >says I'm 4 to 6." > >10. A second grader came home from school and said to her >grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies >today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep >her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?" >"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'." > >11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," >said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the >ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. >"Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the >young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child." > >12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one >day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the >fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the >dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. >"No," said another. "He's just for good luck." A third child >brought the argument to a close."They use the dogs," she said >firmly, "to find the fire hydrants." > >13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, >"she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. >Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport." > > 14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good > things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him! > >15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over; you hear gas >leaks, and they blame their dog.
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