Why I Owe My Mother ...
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My mother taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC: "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT: "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught me IRONY: "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS: "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM: "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA: "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER: "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY: "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.." 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION: "Stop acting like your father!" 15. My mother taught me about ENVY: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION: "Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING: "You are going to get it when you get home!" 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE: "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way." 19. My mother taught me ESP: "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. My mother taught me HUMOUR: "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT: "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. My mother taught me GENETICS: "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS: "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM: "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." And my favourite: 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE: "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!" Only you folks my age understand these profound statements!!! But, there is one missing from this list~~My personal all time favourite!! 26. My mother taught me about CHOICE: "Do you want me to stop this car?" David in Ballarat, AUS To unsubscribe send email to [email protected] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [email protected]. For help, write to [email protected]. Photo site: http://www.flickr.com/photos/lacemaker/sets/
