Jeriâs point is well taken. There are those who are used to taking and keeping things to/for themselves. There are those who give (in the smallest percentage - scientifically only 8%), and must understand that they must consider the source of the nastiness is really someone showing you who they are, and has nothing to do with you. These types are insecure and easily threatened, so if they cannot contest your knowledge then will knit-pick about other things, just to make themselves feel more power and control. It is highly dysfunctional, as any differing opinion can be stated in a kind and constructive way.  At some point, all must consider moving beyond themselves and their own personal ego and agenda, to think of the betterment of whole. That includes keeping lacemaking alive and perpetuating knowledge about lace; done in goodwill and with joy of sharing. Comradery should have a positive goal (vs. the negative tactic of building allies which is a admittance of self-doubt, as you need to draw in others to justify your position subconsciously knowing your are wrong or insecure).  I know of and have heard about, so many knowledgeable lacemakers who have left the group because of nastiness, which is tragic and limits knowledge. One must understand that there is more than one way to execute a task/technique, and sharing should open minds and evolve lacemaking. If everyone gave up, the world would stand still or deteriorate.  The 92% of the population that are character disordered, needs to consider whether their personal agenda is helping them, others, and the overall foundation of lace. Consideration and empathy in action, is a beginning. Someone new to lace may provide insights from their own creativity that to date, does not exist.  At some point we need to move beyond ourselves, and think on a grander scale. I see sharing on lists as my personal tithing. If someone is nasty, they are telling you who they are, and it is your job to not take it on, and possibly let them know that their behavior is inappropriate.  Unfortunately, this list has a bad reputation, and it would be refreshing if the dysfunction was abated and more people engaged in contributing, no matter where their knowledge (or lack thereof) is coming from. Knowledgeable people can also learn simple things that escaped them, and we all benefit.  And sometimes yes, it is faster to ask the question, then spend hours searching the archives. I would rather that, than reading berations. Life is short â letâs make the most of it, and in contributing to lace.  Best, Susan ReishusÂ
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