Christmas Carols & Songs Please take careful note of the following expert advice received: The Rocking Song Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not =tir; We will lend a coat of fur, We will rock you, rock you, rock you, We will rock you, rock you, rock you: Fur is no longer appropriate wear =or small infants, both due to risk of allergy to animal fur, and for ethical reasons. Therefore faux =ur, a nice cellular blanket or perhaps micro-fleece material should be =onsidered a suitable alternative. Please note, only persons who have =een subject to a Criminal Records Bureau check and have enhanced clearance will be permitted to =ock baby Jesus. Persons must carry their CRB disclosure with them at all times =nd be prepared to provide three forms of identification before rocking =ommences. If any person is engaged in looking after the infant for more than two =ours per week, other than a close relative, they must be registered as a =hild-minder with the Care Quality Commission. Rockers attention is drawn to Health =amp; Safety Guidance Manual 'Repetitive Strain Injuries Associated with =rib-rocking and similar activities'. The crib must conform to =S3498 part 2. Jingle Bells Dashing through the snow In a one horse open sleigh O'er the fields we go Laughing all the way A risk assessment must be submitted =efore an open sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The risk =ssessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for =uch a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. =he stables must be registered with the local authority under The Riding =stablishments Act and the owner must show evidence of Public Liability Insurance cover to =t least £10,000,000. Please note permission must be gained from =andowners before entering their fields as animals are not covered by the Open =ccess to Land Act. To avoid offending people of other =thnic origins and cultural beliefs, this activity must be of a non-Christian nature. =aughter must not exceed 65 decibels when measured from the closest boundary and not =oud enough to be considered a noise nuisance. As a sleigh is defined as a =lass 4 vehicle under the Road Vehicles (Construction and Use) Regulations =hould the proposed journey across fields include any road, track, footpath, =owpath or bridle-paththen the said sleigh must have a current MOT test =ertificate and the driver must be in possession of a driving licence for this type of =ehicle. If the sleigh is capable of carrying more than 5 persons and is =vailable for hire, it also falls within the definition of a public carriage vehicle, =eaning it must appropriately licensed. While Shepherds Watched While shepherds watched Their flocks by night All seated on the ground The angel of the Lord came down And glory shone around It breaches health and safety regulations to insist that =hepherds watch their flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided, =herefore benches and stools are to be made available. Anyone with a =isability may request an orthopaedic chair suited to their individual needs. Shepherds =and this term is obviously intended to include shepherdesses) have also requested that due to the inclement weather conditions at this =ime of year that they should watch their flocks via CCTV cameras from =entrally heated shepherd/ shepherdess observation huts. As 'flock-watching' is the =prescribed activity' as defined by the European Working Time Directive, employers will need to make provision =or rest breaks and statutory minimum periods away from the workplace. Please =ote, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his / her glory all =round she / he must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued with =ersonal Protective Equipment including glasses capable of filtering out the =armful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory. Rudolph the red nosed reindeer Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw him, you would even say it glows. You are advised that under the =qual Opportunities for All policy, it is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to =he colour of any part of the body of a reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of any reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found =uilty of this offence. This also applies to issues relating to female =eindeer, trans-gender and gender neutral reindeer, reindeer undergoing or =waiting gender re-alignment and any animal claiming to be a =eindeer.A full investigation will be implemented =nd sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be considered whilst this investigation =akes place. Little Donkey Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty =oad Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious =oad The RSPCA has issued strict =uidelines with regard to how heavy a load that a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also =ncluding guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many rest breaks =re required over a four hour plodding period. Please note that due to the increased risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are =equired to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne particles. The =onkey has expressed his discomfort at being labelled 'little' and would prefer =ust to be simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment upon his height or =ack thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights. Owners =re reminded of the need to obtain an animal movement licence prior to each =nd every journey and to keep their animal movement records up to date and available for inspection. Persons in charge of donkeys are reminded of =heir obligations to clear up after their animals as failure toremove donkey-droppings is an offence =nder the Environmental Protection Act punishable by a fine of up to £5,000. Furthermore =s the carrying of a load by a donkey is obviously a commercial activity, droppings are =efined as commercial waste and must be disposed of by a licensed waste =ontractor. We Three Kings We three kings of Orient are Bearing gifts we traverse afar Field and fountain, moor and mountain Following yonder star Whilst the gift of gold is still =onsidered acceptable - as it may be redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for =old' etc, gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the potential =isk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. Such gifts may also =eed to have an export licence and must be declared to a Border Control Officer =nd made available for inspection. Suggested gift alternatives would be =o make a donation to a worthy cause in the recipient’s name or =erhaps give a gift voucher. Please note foreign currency in excess of £10,000 =r equivalent in local currency, is subject to strict financial =ontrols.We would not advise that the traversing =ings rely on navigation by stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC =oute finder or satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest route =nd advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines =rom the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the three kings of Orient will =equire regular food and rest breaks. Strict animal health regulations will =pply which may involve animals being quarantined for a period of 4 months. Diplomatic immunity may be =vailable for the Royal Highnesses, please consult your local embassy at least 6 weeks prior to departure in =rder that appropriate visas and animal passports may be issued. Their =oyal Highnesses are advised to use high factor sun protection, only consume =ater from accredited sources, have up-to-date inoculations and vaccinations appropriate to their intended travel plans suitable =videnced by international vaccination certificates, be aware of moorland ticks =revalent at this time of year and lodge their itinerary with the Mountain Rescue Service. Away in a Manger No Crib for a bed Need I say more? A referral =o Social Services, Child Protection Team would seem appropriate.
________________________________ From: "[email protected]" <[email protected]> To: [email protected] Sent: Sunday, 13 December, 2009 12:00:02 Subject: Leedslist Digest, Vol 39, Issue 17 Send Leedslist mailing list submissions to [email protected] To subscribe or unsubscribe via the World Wide Web, visit http://list.zetnet.co.uk/mailman/listinfo/leedslist or, via email, send a message with subject or body 'help' to [email protected] You can reach the person managing the list at [email protected] When replying, please edit your Subject line so it is more specific than "Re: Contents of Leedslist digest..." Today's Topics: 1. Another crap game??? (John Sykes) 2. Re: Another crap game??? (Mark Humphries) 3. Re: Another crap game??? (Dr Michael Benjamin) 4. Re: Another crap game??? ([email protected]) 5. Brentford (MATTHEW GAYNOR) 6. Re: Brentford (Wayne) 7. Re: Another crap game??? (Alec McQueen) 8. Re: Another crap game??? (?ystein Bj?ndal Lund) 9. Brentford report (DAVID NATTAN) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Message: 1 Date: Sat, 12 Dec 2009 10:31:13 -0800 (Pacific Standard Time) From: "John Sykes" <[email protected]> Subject: [LU] Another crap game??? To: <[email protected]> Message-ID: <4b23e170.000021.00...@acer> Content-Type: Text/Plain; charset="iso-8859-1" According to the stats, LU should have had a bundle...ok, what happened? I have yet to even get a result email.....everyone embarrassed?? Grampa Sykes ------------------------------ Message: 2 Date: Sat, 12 Dec 2009 19:29:42 -0000 From: "Mark Humphries" <[email protected]> Subject: Re: [LU] Another crap game??? To: "'John Sykes'" <[email protected]>, <[email protected]> Message-ID: <01b301ca7b61$7432c950$5c985b...@[email protected]> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Looks like Brentford played the increasingly common (and effective) tactic of a 5 man midfield against us. We really need to find a counter move for that tactic, I can see most teams employing that against us from now on... > -----Original Message----- > From: [email protected] [mailto:leedslist- > [email protected]] On Behalf Of John Sykes > Sent: 12 December 2009 6:31 PM > To: [email protected] > Subject: [LU] Another crap game??? > > According to the stats, LU should have had a bundle...ok, what > happened? I > have yet to even get a result email.....everyone embarrassed?? > > Grampa Sykes ------------------------------ Message: 3 Date: Sat, 12 Dec 2009 21:58:47 +0200 From: Dr Michael Benjamin <[email protected]> Subject: Re: [LU] Another crap game??? To: Mark Humphries <[email protected]> Cc: [email protected] Message-ID: <[email protected]> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 I am am having an increasingly creaping feeling that we are about to be fucked again. We are not the best team in the league. we have the best defence. But The two FB's are no good. The 2 CH are not the ones that started the season. The goalie belongs in the Charleston era [flapper]. Our best forward is a selfish sod. No one else scores. I think that we have been found out again. No moans please -- I am half pissed whilst wring this-- Vinas Veritas & all that crap. Michael Dr Michael Benjamin, Community Psychiatrist ------------------------------- myRay: On-line Self-Help CBT http://www.myRay.com ------------------------------ Mental Health: http//www.MyDoctorExplains.com -------------------------------- Auditing || Quality Control http://www.MyDoctorExplains.com/alamo/ -------------------------------- Blog: http://www.DrMichaelBenjamin.com Sent from Ramat Gan, Israel 2009/12/12 Mark Humphries <[email protected]> > Looks like Brentford played the increasingly common (and effective) tactic > of a 5 man midfield against us. > > We really need to find a counter move for that tactic, I can see most teams > employing that against us from now on... > > > -----Original Message----- > > From: [email protected] [mailto:leedslist- > > [email protected]] On Behalf Of John Sykes > > Sent: 12 December 2009 6:31 PM > > To: [email protected] > > Subject: [LU] Another crap game??? > > > > According to the stats, LU should have had a bundle...ok, what > > happened? I > > have yet to even get a result email.....everyone embarrassed?? > > > > Grampa Sykes > > > > > _______________________________________________ > the Leeds List is an unmoderated mailing list and the list administrators > accept no liability for the personal views and opinions of contributors. > Leedslist mailing list > [email protected] > http://list.zetnet.co.uk/mailman/listinfo/leedslist > Volame vsechny Cechy > > ------------------------------ Message: 4 Date: Sat, 12 Dec 2009 20:08:44 +0000 (UTC) From: [email protected] Subject: Re: [LU] Another crap game??? To: [email protected] Cc: [email protected], Mark Humphries <[email protected]> Message-ID: <2117695195.478231260648524333.javamail.r...@sz0112a.emeryville.ca.mail.comcast.net> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=utf-8 Eight points clear of 3rd place with a game in hand. Very pleased with that situation right now. ----- Original Message ----- From: "Dr Michael Benjamin" <[email protected]> To: "Mark Humphries" <[email protected]> Cc: [email protected] Sent: Saturday, December 12, 2009 2:58:47 PM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern Subject: Re: [LU] Another crap game??? I am am having an increasingly creaping feeling that we are about to be fucked again. We are not the best team in the league. we have the best defence. But The two FB's are no good. The 2 CH are not the ones that started the season. The goalie belongs in the Charleston era [flapper]. Our best forward is a selfish sod. No one else scores. I think that we have been found out again. No moans please -- I am half pissed whilst wring this-- Vinas Veritas & all that crap. Michael Dr Michael Benjamin, Community Psychiatrist ------------------------------- myRay: On-line Self-Help CBT http://www.myRay.com ------------------------------ Mental Health: http//www.MyDoctorExplains.com -------------------------------- Auditing || Quality Control http://www.MyDoctorExplains.com/alamo/ -------------------------------- Blog: http://www.DrMichaelBenjamin.com Sent from Ramat Gan, Israel 2009/12/12 Mark Humphries <[email protected]> > Looks like Brentford played the increasingly common (and effective) tactic > of a 5 man midfield against us. > > We really need to find a counter move for that tactic, I can see most teams > employing that against us from now on... > > > -----Original Message----- > > From: [email protected] [mailto:leedslist- > > [email protected]] On Behalf Of John Sykes > > Sent: 12 December 2009 6:31 PM > > To: [email protected] > > Subject: [LU] Another crap game??? > > > > According to the stats, LU should have had a bundle...ok, what > > happened? I > > have yet to even get a result email.....everyone embarrassed?? > > > > Grampa Sykes > > > > > _______________________________________________ > the Leeds List is an unmoderated mailing list and the list administrators > accept no liability for the personal views and opinions of contributors. > Leedslist mailing list > [email protected] > http://list.zetnet.co.uk/mailman/listinfo/leedslist > Volame vsechny Cechy > > _______________________________________________ the Leeds List is an unmoderated mailing list and the list administrators accept no liability for the personal views and opinions of contributors. Leedslist mailing list [email protected] http://list.zetnet.co.uk/mailman/listinfo/leedslist Volame vsechny Cechy ------------------------------ Message: 5 Date: Sat, 12 Dec 2009 20:21:59 +0000 (GMT) From: MATTHEW GAYNOR <[email protected]> Subject: [LU] Brentford To: [email protected] Message-ID: <[email protected]> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=utf-8 Nothing happened. Lets pretend that game didnt exist. Pub was good. Matt ------------------------------ Message: 6 Date: Sat, 12 Dec 2009 20:28:39 +0000 From: Wayne <[email protected]> Subject: Re: [LU] Brentford To: MATTHEW GAYNOR <[email protected]> Cc: "[email protected]" <[email protected]> Message-ID: <[email protected]> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii; format=flowed; delsp=yes I was listening to it on LUTV, I fell asleep before half time and woke up just as the phone in started.. By the sounds of it, I didn't much. Regards Wayne Sent from my iPhone On 12 Dec 2009, at 20:21, MATTHEW GAYNOR <[email protected] > wrote: > Nothing happened. > > Lets pretend that game didnt exist. > > Pub was good. > > Matt > _______________________________________________ > the Leeds List is an unmoderated mailing list and the list > administrators accept no liability for the personal views and > opinions of contributors. > Leedslist mailing list > [email protected] > http://list.zetnet.co.uk/mailman/listinfo/leedslist > Volame vsechny Cechy > ------------------------------ Message: 7 Date: Sun, 13 Dec 2009 07:48:57 +1100 From: Alec McQueen <[email protected]> Subject: Re: [LU] Another crap game??? To: [email protected] Message-ID: <[email protected]> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 I have considerable faith in SG. I reckon he knows our weaknesses, but I am not sure the fixes are easy or cheap. We have lost one league game in 20. If we have a run of a few games with fewer wins than other results, then I will be worried. That is not the case at the moment. Cheers Alec 2009/12/13 <[email protected]> > Eight points clear of 3rd place with a game in hand. Very pleased with that > situation right now. > > > > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "Dr Michael Benjamin" <[email protected]> > To: "Mark Humphries" <[email protected]> > Cc: [email protected] > Sent: Saturday, December 12, 2009 2:58:47 PM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern > Subject: Re: [LU] Another crap game??? > > I am am having an increasingly creaping feeling that we are about to be > fucked again. > We are not the best team in the league. > we have the best defence. But The two FB's are no good. The 2 CH are not > the > ones that started the season. The goalie belongs in the Charleston era > [flapper]. > Our best forward is a selfish sod. No one else scores. > I think that we have been found out again. > No moans please -- I am half pissed whilst wring this-- Vinas Veritas & all > that crap. > Michael > Dr Michael Benjamin, > Community Psychiatrist > ------------------------------- > myRay: On-line Self-Help CBT > http://www.myRay.com <http://www.myray.com/> > ------------------------------ > Mental Health: > http//www.MyDoctorExplains.com <http://www.mydoctorexplains.com/> > -------------------------------- > Auditing || Quality Control > http://www.MyDoctorExplains.com/alamo/<http://www.mydoctorexplains.com/alamo/> > -------------------------------- > Blog: > http://www.DrMichaelBenjamin.com <http://www.drmichaelbenjamin.com/> > > Sent from Ramat Gan, Israel > > 2009/12/12 Mark Humphries <[email protected]> > > > Looks like Brentford played the increasingly common (and effective) > tactic > > of a 5 man midfield against us. > > > > We really need to find a counter move for that tactic, I can see most > teams > > employing that against us from now on... > > > > > -----Original Message----- > > > From: [email protected] [mailto:leedslist- > > > [email protected]] On Behalf Of John Sykes > > > Sent: 12 December 2009 6:31 PM > > > To: [email protected] > > > Subject: [LU] Another crap game??? > > > > > > According to the stats, LU should have had a bundle...ok, what > > > happened? I > > > have yet to even get a result email.....everyone embarrassed?? > > > > > > Grampa Sykes > > > > > > > > > > _______________________________________________ > > the Leeds List is an unmoderated mailing list and the list administrators > > accept no liability for the personal views and opinions of contributors. > > Leedslist mailing list > > [email protected] > > http://list.zetnet.co.uk/mailman/listinfo/leedslist > > Volame vsechny Cechy > > > > > _______________________________________________ > the Leeds List is an unmoderated mailing list and the list administrators > accept no liability for the personal views and opinions of contributors. > Leedslist mailing list > [email protected] > http://list.zetnet.co.uk/mailman/listinfo/leedslist > Volame vsechny Cechy > _______________________________________________ > the Leeds List is an unmoderated mailing list and the list administrators > accept no liability for the personal views and opinions of contributors. > Leedslist mailing list > [email protected] > http://list.zetnet.co.uk/mailman/listinfo/leedslist > Volame vsechny Cechy > -- Alec McQueen 0418 328967 ------------------------------ Message: 8 Date: Sat, 12 Dec 2009 22:48:07 +0100 From: ?ystein Bj?ndal Lund <[email protected]> Subject: Re: [LU] Another crap game??? To: [email protected] Message-ID: <000001ca7b74$cabeb8c0$603c2a...@no> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 >everyone embarrassed?? Not me. Draw away - together with home wins - used to be the medicine for success... Hence a 0-0 draw away from home is no disaster. I have not seen the game, nor read reports, just judging the result... Of course, we should win both home and away against some of these sides, but reckon we will... For the time being, I am happy with clean sheets, and if we keep on doing that, we will get promoted... ?ystein >Grampa Sykes ------------------------------ Message: 9 Date: Sun, 13 Dec 2009 11:00:33 +0000 (GMT) From: DAVID NATTAN <[email protected]> Subject: [LU] Brentford report To: list leedslist <[email protected]> Message-ID: <[email protected]> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 I cannot remember when I enjoyed a match less - partly due to the game and partly due to the fact that I was stood in "retards corner" !! The game itself was a very dreary, niggly , stop start affair with no football played on either side. We welcomed back Kisnorbo and he was his usual confident self and a big part of the reason we kept a clean sheet, Bromby kept his place alongside him with Lubo dropping out. The full backs were Hughes on the right and Capaldi on the left (Naylor made the subs bench and Vokes was nowhere to be seen). Gradel got the nod in place of the injured Snoddy on the left and Becchio was recalled to partner Beckford up front. All game we looked lethargic a heavy pitch and our midweek exertions v Kettering taking their toll. We did not help ourselves with a lot of misplaced passes - Hughes in particular being a serial offender.There were a number of small off the ball incidents and the game threatened to boil over but I think in the end the players could not be bothered - it would be too much effort. They had a few corners and free kicks but with Paddy back none of them troubled us much and I can't remember a single shot on target or real chance they had all game. We were not much better in that all we managed was a shot by Beckford that was tipped onto the post (I missed it being on phone text trying to find mates inside the ground !!). then second half Becchio had a shot that just shaved the crossbar and a chance finally fell to Beckford who was one on one running at the keeper but his scuffed shot lacked power,direction and above all belief. And so the game came to a dreary and almost foregone conclusion. It was hugely forgettable but a point away from home is generally classed as promotion form and a clean sheet is always welcome (ooeer missus) If the game was not bad enough what enjoyment I could have had was spoiled by the absolute retards stood near me in the left hand corner. First some youngish lads had santa hats on which, surprise surprise were red and white - this was enough to send one fat idiot into spasm and he started by yelling abuse at them and then even ran at them trying to smack them. Me and my lad had to hold him back - what an absolute tool he was. Then his mate went up to the santa hat lads at half time and had a "quiet word" which resulted in them taking the hats off. OK these things happen and if that was all, fair enough but one the others near us spent the whole time calling the linesman a peado - almost funny the first time but not when it is constant and followed up with shouts of "you wouldn't have missed that foul if you had not been looking at 10yr old girls you peado" (WTF ??) And just when things could not have got any worse another retard managed to come out with worst racist abuse I have heard in some time, mainly directed at one of the stewards !! To top it all off on my bus home a lad tried to attack the bus driver and the police had to be called - the lad was shouting " you didn't stop cos I am black" "you're getting shot?when we get to ?Salford you paki bastard" - yeah the lad was black and the driver Asian? So all in all a day to forget as can be seen that the highlight was the new Kandol song to the tune of "keep St George in my heart" the hymn "give me oil in my lamp - sing hosannah to the king of kins" He should play for Brazil, Tresor Kandol, He should play for Brazil up front He should play for Brazil Tresor Kandol Tresor Kandol is a skillful c8nt Tresor Kandol,Tresor Kandol, Tresor Kandol is a skillfull c8nt Very good. ? Anyway that is me done now till the New Year, So Happy Christmas etc to one and all - lets hope we are still top when I return in time for the Wycombe game , and lets hope we do well at Old Trafford and are in the northern final of the JPT!! ? Aus here I come ? Dave ------------------------------ _______________________________________________ the Leeds List is an unmoderated mailing list and the list administrators accept no liability for the personal views and opinions of contributors. Join the Leeds United Supporters' Trust visit www.lufctrust.org Leedslist mailing list [email protected] http://list.zetnet.co.uk/mailman/listinfo/leedslist DIGEST all is well with Leeds United and in 30 years we'll be back in the premiership End of Leedslist Digest, Vol 39, Issue 17 ***************************************** _______________________________________________ the Leeds List is an unmoderated mailing list and the list administrators accept no liability for the personal views and opinions of contributors. Leedslist mailing list [email protected] http://list.zetnet.co.uk/mailman/listinfo/leedslist Volame vsechny Cechy
