I found this amusing:

David Pratt 21, received the red card from the referee after just 3 seconds,
having made a dangerous tackle in the match against Bashley.

The previous record for the quickest sending off in soccer history, was the
10 seconds it took for Bologna's Giuseppe Lorenzo to receive the red card
back in 1990, when he struck an opponent in an Italian league game.

In 2000 the English amateur player Lee Todd was sent off after just 2
seconds, having remarked "Fuck me, that was loud" in response to the
referee's whistle at the start of the game. Todd was sent off for using foul
and abusive language, but did not make the record books, as the incident
occurred in an amateur match <http://betting.betfair.ie/football/>.

Michael
Dr Michael Benjamin,
Community Psychiatrist
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