The magic carpet For the first time John Winston Howard has talked publicly of retirement. We at Life of Riley Enterprises are much distressed to hear such talk. Having just designed a range of John Howard puppets it is a great shock to our business acumen to suddenly learn that the fashion for Howards may soon pass by. We were looking at a significant market share. While we do have a Kim Beazely in the pipe line - "Kimbo Junior" (as it is called) suffers from cheek warp and we'll need to find a much better mix so that the little puppet can hold onto its bluster. Last time we held Kimbo aloft, part of its pudgy face fell on the floor. Now he looks like a teenager suffering from acne. But we at Life of Riley Enterprises are working non stop to find a mix to keep Kimbo in one piece. All Kimbo needs is the right formula to keep his head up in the manner befitting a challenger for the top job. Hopefully by the ALP Federal Conference we'll have a winning recipe. But the Howard issue - that presents a problem. Should we start immediately working up a Costello? just in case. Should we assume that the man who introduced the GST to our miscellaneous consumptions will very soon rule the roost? Stranger things have happened. Any hardworking cartoonist will tell you that Costello is not an easy mark. He lacks the caricature line and the facial hardware so generously offered by Howard PM. It's as though a commoner is set to ascend the throne. How are we to crown that noggin in mirth? My feeling is that a successful business strategy must rely on a careful blend of elements and a well worked out business plan - "plans" are all the range nowadays. I'm sure that Peter Costello would have some advice for small business in that regard. We can restructure. We can compete. We are at the cutting edge here at Life of Riley Enterprises. So if anyone on the inside could let us know what the likely fallout is going to be we'd appreciate the inside information. It would help us so much to get our product on the shelves before the Muppets, Martel or Barbie Doll get wind of the change. Given that we don't know what's likely to happen in the immediate future our dedicated team of designers are at a loose end. So I was thinking we could occupy our time working up our own version of the GST. What do you think? It walks. It talks. It sings Unchain My Heart in the key of G. For all intents and purposes this will be the Goods and Services Tax . We could even market it with our ABN number stamped prominently across it's what? That's the rub. What would our GST look like? Any suggestions? Remember the thing we need to create has to look as though it's "in place" but nonetheless, lend it self to a "roll back" at some later stage. My initial feeling is warm towards a carpet - a magic carpet no less! - that has settled over the land. The image is good - don't you think. We could weave in an ABN number and insert character by a carefully selected design pattern made up of "$" signs and "10%" logos with a few "This includes GST" sprinkled hither and yon. It could be a collage of all the best elements of tax reform and dedicated to the Chartered Practicing Accountants of Australia "with thanks". I see this carpet something like Linus's blanket. You're with me? The Peanuts kid who sucked his thumb. So that we could pair up Pete Costello <I>with<D> the carpet as a package deal. What do you reckon? Then wack on -<I> and this is the best part!<D> -- a really big ten percent -something more like 15 or 20. What a joke. Oh the irony of it! Phone through your order now. Credit cards accepted. Dave Riley __________ Dave Riley' Satire Workshop [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.ozemail.com.au/~dhell PO Box 103 NORTHGATE AUSTRALIA 4013 TEL: (07) 3266 4281 -- Leftlink - Australia's Broad Left Mailing List mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.alexia.net.au/~www/mhutton/index.html Sponsored by Melbourne's New International Bookshop Subscribe: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]?Body=subscribe%20leftlink Unsubscribe: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]?Body=unsubscribe%20leftlink
