Good morning, Robert... [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
> Conster <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> asked: > >>>morphine, heroin, and cocaine were available at your >>>local pharmacy, no prescription needed. Drug abuse was a minor problem in >>>those days. > >>Says who??? Just because it wasn't documented, or maybe it was. But >>before I see such statements, I would really like to see some numbers. > > How does one document the fact of people NOT having a problem? What would > the headline say? Why, that's easy: ========================================================================== [Washington, DC] According to the Associated Press Wire this morning, no one in the World had difficulty last night. That's right! NO ONE had a problem. This had frightening implications for everyone but President George Bush, who immediately held a press conference in the Oval Office to announce this was the result of Republican efforts to stem crime and terrorism. Telesha Thunderthighs, the CEO/CIO of Whores and Heroin, LLC, a contentious home-based industry headquartered in the Lower East Side of New York, was quick to point out that as a woman-owned industry well-known for creating trouble for a minority of right-thinking Republican dignitaries, there was absolutely no relationship between the trends in her industries and the recent move of their operations center to a floating barge located outside the territorial waters of the United States. Even the Right Reverend Billy Bob Kissimmee, a television evangelist well-known for his prediction in 2004, that he would regularly receive better TV ratings than the Oprah Show during 2005, was strangely quiet, preferring to give the credit to his vision of holiness by opening his morning show on the East Coast of the United States with four minutes of uninterrupted "Thank you, Jesus" instead of his usual railing and ranting against the evils of the temporal world. However, nothing was more noticeable about the lack of problems throughout society than the morning news as broadcast by CNN. After their morning introductions, and witty commentaries about the lack of anything newsworthy to broadcast, news commentators merely sat before their computer terminals, always alert for breaking news, while the studios played a series of Etudes by Bach interspersed by nauseously self-serving advertisements. Unfortunately, according to our sources within the New York Police Department within the Bronx, although the placid conditions which lasted throughout the night and well into the morning, could not last forever. At 11:53 AM EST, a well-known thug and street pimp named Willie Hoogan took exception to one of his girls spending too much time sitting and chatting amiably at the Jewish Deli on the corner, and bitch-slapped her in the presence of seven witnesses, thus ending an incredible run of tranquility unprecedented in the annals of New York history. Within hours the entire country had degenerated back to its old familiar venal, ugly ways, and everyone had problems with SOMETHING. ========================================================================== Credible? NO. Neither is the news most of these strange days... Dave -- Dave Laird ([EMAIL PROTECTED]) The Used Kharma Lot Web Page: http://www.kharma.net updated 11/24/2004 Usenet news server : news://news.kharma.net Fortune Random Thought For the Minute The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body. This means that only left handed people are in their right mind. _______________________________________________ Libnw mailing list Libnw@immosys.com List info and subscriber options: http://immosys.com/mailman/listinfo/libnw Archives: http://immosys.com/mailman//pipermail/libnw
