Overall this is a bit too chatty for my liking. I have tried to give some constructive suggestions but please make sure that you follow the doc guidelines and use the appropriate Texinfo commands (as applicable).
It fails make at the moment (I will see why from my patchy and update the Tracker accordingly) https://codereview.appspot.com/40510046/diff/20001/Documentation/web/download.itexi File Documentation/web/download.itexi (right): https://codereview.appspot.com/40510046/diff/20001/Documentation/web/download.itexi#newcode38 Documentation/web/download.itexi:38: Is this whole section conforming to the correct line length - 72 (or 66) chars? At least here in Rietveld it looks sloppy with weird line breaks. Maybe this is just the way it is displayed here but can we make sure please. https://codereview.appspot.com/40510046/diff/20001/Documentation/web/download.itexi#newcode40 Documentation/web/download.itexi:40: @subheading Before you proceed ... I don't like those elipses and they aren't really needed (or being used correctly, they are for missing words and anyway there is a texinfo command for 'dots'.) can we just have 'Before you proceed' and be done? https://codereview.appspot.com/40510046/diff/20001/Documentation/web/download.itexi#newcode42 Documentation/web/download.itexi:42: ... you should be aware of some facts and concepts. Remove this '... you should be aware of ...' line. Subheading is enough. https://codereview.appspot.com/40510046/diff/20001/Documentation/web/download.itexi#newcode50 Documentation/web/download.itexi:50: If you want you can go to @ref{Text input} and learn more about LilyPond's What happens if they 'don't want?' Remove the 'If you want you can go to' Just keep it simple. I.e 'See @ref{Text input} to learn more.' https://codereview.appspot.com/40510046/diff/20001/Documentation/web/download.itexi#newcode53 Documentation/web/download.itexi:53: @subsubheading I'm new to LilyPond and don't have a dedicated editor yet I personally don't like these 'first person' question-type headings, but if we have to have them can we just remove the 'I'm new to LilyPond' and get to the point. Something like 'Which dedicated LilyPond Editor' or similar. https://codereview.appspot.com/40510046/diff/20001/Documentation/web/download.itexi#newcode55 Documentation/web/download.itexi:55: If you don't already have an editing environment for LilyPond you should You had already subheaded this section as '[I] ... don't have a dedicated editor...' so these first words are redundant. Just skip to the point. "See @ref{Editing} to find a list of LilyPond editors. Frescobaldi or Denemo are recommended for beginners." https://codereview.appspot.com/40510046/diff/20001/Documentation/web/download.itexi#newcode57 Documentation/web/download.itexi:57: concept you'll find a list of known editors. Beginners are Two spaces after a full point. https://codereview.appspot.com/40510046/diff/20001/Documentation/web/download.itexi#newcode59 Documentation/web/download.itexi:59: @strong{Denemo}. Both can take care of installing LilyPond for you. Two spaces after a full point https://codereview.appspot.com/40510046/diff/20001/Documentation/web/download.itexi#newcode64 Documentation/web/download.itexi:64: to install a new LilyPond version you can proceed as described below. Is this section even needed? https://codereview.appspot.com/40510046/ _______________________________________________ lilypond-devel mailing list lilypond-devel@gnu.org https://lists.gnu.org/mailman/listinfo/lilypond-devel