Thank you, Margit. On Thu, Feb 24, 2022, 10:10 AM Margit Griffith <mar...@fplincoln.org> wrote:
> Dear Neighbors, > > I was recently asked, "How do I speak to my grandchildren about war?" For > a moment, I had to pause; children and war do not belong in the same > sentence. Sadly, children are all too often among the casualties - of > life, of home/place, of emotional stability - when there is war. But for > those who are far away, how do we help them understand? My answer to > this is layered. > > For small children, thinking about war is not in their wheelhouse. There > is no reason to bring their attention to it, to discuss it in front of > them, to have them see the news. Our responsibility as parents and caring > adults is to shield them from this. What they do need is to learn the > values of kindness, caring, sharing, being a good friend. But we know, > kids pick-up on things, especially their parents' emotions - and I love > this book... it not only names what they might be feeling, but also gives > them some action to take... The Breaking News, by Sarah Lynne Reul > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-U3lF5Ei_E (this Youtube video is the > author reading the story) > > With values lessons shared with very young children, there is a foundation > to explain war to slightly older children. War is not kind nor caring. > War is about grabbing, not sharing. War is not about friendship. The > values we raise-up as most important can be compared to the lack of values > warring represents. We can talk about the Nobel Peace Prize and the Peace > Corps in addition to talking slightly about what a child may have heard > about what's happening in the world. > > Children in later middle school ages and above can have a frank discussion > about why the war is taking place. What is being fought over? Why now? > Who are the key players? This is a time to mention your concern about loss > of life, the emotional damage to survivors, the refugees wars produce. > Share your feelings as well as the facts. Naming feelings of concern, > frustration, anger - all the emotions - helps children identify the things > they are feeling... it gives it a name. Knowing how you feel and letting > others know how you feel is a life skill. > > For young children, they should be shielded from the TV. For older > children, if you decide to watch news broadcasts (IF!), it should be > limited and watched with you (for later discussion). At all times and > will all children, parents and caring adults should reassure them they are > safe. That you are there to do everything in your power to keep them > safe. If children fixate on or become truly anxious about what's going on, > call your pediatrician. They are (or should be) wonderful resources for > helping you parent on all levels. They can help you determine if your > child's reaction is on an anticipated spectrum or if there is concern. > > If you have any questions or would like to talk about your concerns, you > can hit the "Ask Margit" button on First Parish in Lincoln's website for > Children, Youth, and Families... > https://www.fplincoln.org/children-youth-and-families/ > > Yours in Care and Compassion, > Margit > -- > The LincolnTalk mailing list. > To post, send mail to Lincoln@lincolntalk.org. > Search the archives at http://lincoln.2330058.n4.nabble.com/. > Browse the archives at https://pairlist9.pair.net/mailman/private/lincoln/ > . > Change your subscription settings at > https://pairlist9.pair.net/mailman/listinfo/lincoln. > >
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