Chuq, I've had a couple subscribers pass away while a member of my list.
Since I run a health list, it happens. There are probably more whose mail
just bounced until they got removed that way but I've had 2 or 3 letters
from people informing me.
Usually the informer is not family, but a workmate or ISP admin. Of course
you generally don't know. So I reply as if they knew the deceased but
probably aren't the primary grievers.
I say: "Thank you for letting me know. I am so sorry for your loss. I
have removed Jane Doe from the list as you requested." Short and to the
point. No need to say more.
I then will post a notice to the list. Even if the person never posted
they might have had personal coorespondence with other list members.
When my mom died 4 years ago I had to take care of most of her loose ends.
She wasn't an internet user but I had to phone or write a bunch of people
in orgs she had dealings with, in many cases to cancel subscriptions. I
never knew if the person on the other end knew my mother personally.
Sometimes they did and this could be hard.
The standard answer strangers gave me was "I am sorry for your loss" and it
works. I wouldn't want no acknowlegdement and I wouldn't want a long one
either. I am calling for a purpose and since I had a lot of calls to make,
short and respectful was the best bet. Unless of course they knew my mom.
Another issue is if you knew the subscriber personally (had some online
exchanges, etc). In that case I would ask in the return email "would you
please tell me the address to send my condolenses to the family?" If the
subscriber was well known on the list I would ask "would you please tell me
the address to send my condolenses to the family so I can inform the other
people on my mailing list?" Trust me, families and other survivors want to
hear from people who knew the loved one they just lost. A sympathy card is
rarely unwelcome. Just send it to the right place.
I hope this helps.
Cyndi
--
_______________________________________________________________________________
"There's nothing wrong with me. Maybe there's Cyndi Norman
something wrong with the universe." (ST:TNG) [EMAIL PROTECTED]
http://www.tikvah.com/
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