Hi Ceki,

Yes, the tone of my mail was harsh.  I find it unfortunate that this was the
case, but I also believe it was necessary.  I also believe I can explain
why, if you're willing to listen.

As I've already mentioned, I believe the current discussion is a
manifestation of social issues -- the technical issues are real, and not
unimportant, but by focusing solely on them, we would be ignoring (as has
often been the case in the past) the effects of the social issues that are
running alongside the discussion like a parallel thread.  That would be
unfortunate, because the social issues are real, they have real-world
consequences, and they influence (strongly) the so-called "technical"
decisions.

Many people, perhaps most, dislike conflict.  Confrontation and conflict are
not activities that most people find pleasurable.  One can see
manifestations of that in the recent pleas for us to bring the conversation
back under control, to count to ten, to take a deep breath, and so on.
These are the reasonable attempts, by reasonable people, to defuse and avoid
conflict.  This approach is generally a good one -- conflict is a dangerous
tool: it's easy to get hurt while using it, or hurt others, and it's a
notoriously difficult tool to control.  Moreover, it's a very difficult tool
to *use* -- it takes an enormous amount of skill, tact and patience to
achieve a useful, productive conflict -- it's nerve wracking.  Given this,
it's understandable that many people prefer to avoid using it altogether --
you will see this manifested in comments like "this just isn't worth it to
me".

Sometimes, unfortunately, conflict is *required*.  Sometimes, it's simply
the only tool that will do the job.

Ceki, as I pointed out in my first message, you're a brilliant developer.
log4j stands as a testament to your technical skills.  But frankly, it's not
my impression that your social skills are on exactly the same level (and I'm
sorry if that offends you, but that's as diplomatic as I can be with that
statement).  I've been a lurker on both this and the user list for many
years.  I've watched arguments come and go, and observed your "management
style" on many occasions.  In my experience (and again, I am forced to be a
bit blunt here), you don't respond well to subtle, quiet approaches.  One
has to hit you over the head with a verbal hammer, before you sit up and
take notice.  That's my opinion -- there are doubtless others.

Nevertheless, that opinion explains the harsh tone of my first message.  It
seems to me that Curt has raised some important, and valid, points.
Further, it seemed to me that you were attempting to steamroller over them,
in a fashion that I have observed you do on more than one occasion in the
past.  To cite just two fairly recent examples, I only need two keywords:
"LBEL" and "TRACE".  I have repeatedly observed discussions with you, over
technical issues, simply peter out because the protagonists in them lost the
will to continue it.  *Your* conversational style, in e-mails, is often
rather harsh and confrontational, although you do not seem to be all that
aware of it.  Repeatedly, I have observed disagreements with you conclude,
not because the people who were disagreeing with you had become convinced
that your point of view was correct, but because they simply had lost the
will to continue the discussion. You have, in my opinion, on more than one
occasion in the past, achieved some technical "victory" simply by virtue of
being stubborn and more willing than your opponent to "hang in there" in a
conflict.

You say "I also try to accommodate opinions diverging from mine and when it
boils down to a matter of taste, I tend to privilege the opinions of others
over my own."  Well, that sounds good, but how do you define "taste"?  The
logic of the sentence I quote suggest that, when the issue is not one that
you judge to be a question of "taste", you utilize some other algorithm to
make a judgment.  In my experience, that algorithm can be expressed as "I
know what's best for log4J -- pipe down out there!"  :-)

Curt is, in my opinion, quite obviously trying to navigate this mine field
*without* giving up.  He is trying valiantly to maintain a conflict with you
that he sees as necessary, *without* being quite as "harsh" as my first mail
was.  He is trying to manage the conflict without hitting you on the head
with a verbal hammer.

So I decided to give it try.  I felt that, as an outsider, I might be able
to get away with it.  It was my hope that by doing so, I would provoke the
other committers to chime in and say *something* -- ANYTHING -- rather than
simply stand on the sidelines and hope that Curt could handle it alone.
Given the reactions of some of the other folks on this list today, it seems
I was successful.

I believe this is an important discussion.  What is the nature of the log4j
project, as an open source effort?  Is it like Linus and the Linux kernel --
others may participate, but ultimately, YOU make the decisions?  That's
certainly a valid model, but if that's how it works, you should SAY SO.
However, if that's not how you want it to work, then this discussion is
critical to validating and defining the "protocol" that others need to use
to navigate disagreements with you.

I have a lot of respect for you, and am a devoted fan of your software.  I
hope you will take my words seriously, but not personally, and that
something positive will emerge from the discussion.

Cheers,
Mark


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