Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-lsr-flex-algo-23: No Objection
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COMMENT:
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# GEN AD review of draft-ietf-lsr-flex-algo-23
CC @larseggert
Thanks to Dan Romascanu for the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) review
(https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/ttCI9O3hhN2Ryyic_0GWCj-ZDMY).
## Comments
### Inclusive language
Found terminology that should be reviewed for inclusivity; see
https://www.rfc-editor.org/part2/#inclusive_language for background and more
guidance:
* Term `traditionally`; alternatives might be `classic`, `classical`,
`common`, `conventional`, `customary`, `fixed`, `habitual`, `historic`,
`long-established`, `popular`, `prescribed`, `regular`, `rooted`,
`time-honored`, `universal`, `widely used`, `widespread`
* Term `native`; alternatives might be `built-in`, `fundamental`, `ingrained`,
`intrinsic`, `original`
## Nits
All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to
address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by
automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so there
will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you
did with these suggestions.
### Typos
#### Section 4, paragraph 4
```
- is associated via configuratin with the Flexible-Algorithm
+ is associated via configuration with the Flexible-Algorithm
+ +
```
#### Section 5.3, paragraph 9
```
- A router that is not participating in a particular Flex-Algorithm is
- ^^
- allowed to advertise FAD for such Flex-Algorithm. Receiving routers
- -----------
+ A router that is not participating in a particular Flex-Algorithm MAY
+ ^^^
```
#### Section 6, paragraph 1
```
- FAD may be split into multiple such sub-TLVs and the content of the
- ^^^
+ FAD MAY be split into multiple such sub-TLVs and the content of the
+ ^^^
```
#### Section 6.4, paragraph 10
```
- Bits that are NOT transmitted MUST be treated as if they are set to 0
- ^^^
+ Bits that are not transmitted MUST be treated as if they are set to 0
+ ^^^
```
#### Section 6.4, paragraph 13
```
- TLV, all the bits are assumed to be set to 0.
+ TLV, all the bits MUST be treated as set to 0.
```
#### Section 7.4, paragraph 10
```
- Bits that are NOT transmitted MUST be treated as if they are set to 0
- ^^^
+ Bits that are not transmitted MUST be treated as if they are set to 0
+ ^^^
```
#### Section 7.4, paragraph 12
```
- the bits are assumed to be set to 0.
+ the bits MUST be treated as set to 0.
```
#### Section 9, paragraph 17
```
- Reserved: Must be set to 0, ignored at reception.
- ^^^
+ Reserved: MUST be set to 0, ignored at reception.
+ ^^^
```
#### Section 10.2, paragraph 11
```
- Reserved: Three octets. Must be set to 0, ignored at reception.
- ^^^
+ Reserved: Three octets. MUST be set to 0, ignored at reception.
+ ^^^
```
#### Section 12, paragraph 2
```
- then legacy advertisements are to be used, subject to the procedures
- ^^^^^^
+ then legacy advertisements MUST be used, subject to the procedures
+ ^^^^
```
#### Section 13.1, paragraph 1
```
- Algorithm in the next area or domain, the traffic may be dropped by
- ^^^
+ Algorithm in the next area or domain, the traffic MAY be dropped by
+ ^^^
```
#### Section 13.1, paragraph 13
```
- considered to be of value 4,294,967,295 during the computation and
- ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
+ considered to be of value 0xFFFFFFFF during the computation and
+ ^^^^^^^^^^
```
#### Section 14.1, paragraph 4
```
- paths, MUST be dropped when there are no such paths available.
- -
```
### Grammar/style
#### Section 2, paragraph 1
```
ation. IGP Algorithm - value from the the "IGP Algorithm Types" registry def
^^^^^^^
```
Possible typo: you repeated a word.
#### Section 6, paragraph 1
```
red LSP from a given IS MUST be used and any other occurrences MUST be ignor
^^^^
```
Use a comma before "and" if it connects two independent clauses (unless they
are closely connected and short).
#### Section 6.1, paragraph 4
```
red LSP from a given IS MUST be used and any other occurrences MUST be ignor
^^^^
```
Use a comma before "and" if it connects two independent clauses (unless they
are closely connected and short).
#### Section 6.2, paragraph 2
```
red LSP from a given IS MUST be used and any other occurrences MUST be ignor
^^^^
```
Use a comma before "and" if it connects two independent clauses (unless they
are closely connected and short).
#### Section 6.3, paragraph 6
```
red LSP from a given IS MUST be used and any other occurrences MUST be ignor
^^^^
```
Use a comma before "and" if it connects two independent clauses (unless they
are closely connected and short).
#### Section 7.4, paragraph 11
```
h a Flex-Algorithm prefix metric larger then MAX_PATH_METRIC as defined in [R
^^^^^^^^^^^
```
Did you mean "larger than"?
#### Section 10.2, paragraph 15
```
efined for each data-plane and is outside of the scope of this document. 12.
^^^^^^^^^^
```
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
#### Section 11, paragraph 1
```
that Flex-Algorithm. No specific two way connectivity check is performed du
^^^^^^^
```
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
#### Section 11, paragraph 2
```
existing, Flex-Algorithm agnostic, two way connectivity check is used during
^^^^^^^
```
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
#### Section 11, paragraph 2
```
-Algorithm value at the same time, and and as such, share the FAD for it. Tr
^^^^^^^
```
Possible typo: you repeated a word.
#### Section 12, paragraph 8
```
uce an end-to-end path, which is sub-optimal based on Flex-Algorithm constra
^^^^^^^^^^^
```
This word is normally spelled as one.
#### Section 13, paragraph 7
```
achable for that Flex-Algorithm. Similarly in the case of OSPF, for ASBRs in
^^^^^^^^^
```
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Similarly".
#### Section 13, paragraph 14
```
s defined in Section 5.3 does not includes the M-flag, then the IGP metrics
^^^^^^^^
```
The auxiliary verb "do" requires the base form of the verb.
#### Section 13.1, paragraph 17
```
efined for each data-plane and is outside of the scope of this document. 15.
^^^^^^^^^^
```
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
#### Section 13.1, paragraph 18
```
ch prevents it from being flooded outside of the level in which it was origin
^^^^^^^^^^
```
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
#### Section 14.2, paragraph 5
```
-IS, OSPFv2 and OSPFv3 all have well defined handling of unrecognized TLVs an
^^^^^^^^^^^^
```
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
#### Section 15.4, paragraph 2
```
Prefix Metric Bits" registry under the under the "Open Shortest Path First (O
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
```
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably use "under the" only once.
## Notes
This review is in the ["IETF Comments" Markdown format][ICMF], You can use the
[`ietf-comments` tool][ICT] to automatically convert this review into
individual GitHub issues. Review generated by the [`ietf-reviewtool`][IRT].
[ICMF]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments/blob/main/format.md
[ICT]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments
[IRT]: https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool
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