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Those were the days......... I laughed so hard reading these
and thought you'd enjoy them. Of course, I remember the TV
show. (A definite sign of age!!!)
Original Hollywood Squares TV Show.
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These
great questions and answers are from the days when game
show
responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and dull
as they
are now. (Peter Marshall was the host asking the
questions, of
course.)
Q: Do male frogs croak?
A: Paul
Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water
long
enough.
Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump,
you should be at least
how high?
A: Charley Weaver: Three days
of steady drinking should do it.
Q: True or false - a pea can
last as long as 5,000 years.
A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems
that way sometimes.
Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a
stranger at a party and you
think he's really attractive, is it
all right to come out directly
and ask him if he's married?
A:
Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q: Which of your five
senses tends to diminish! a! s you get older?
A: Charley Weaver:
My sense of decency.
Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than
three words to say "I love
you"?
A:Vincent Price: No, you can
say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q: As you grow older,
do you tend to gesture more or less with your
hands while you are
talking?
A: RoseMarie: You ask me one more growing older
question, Peter, and
I'll give you a gesture you'll never
forget!
Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A:Paul
Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q: Charley,
you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going
to get
any during your first year?
A: Charley Weaver: Of course not; I'm
too busy growing strawberries!
Q: In bowling, what's a
perfect score?
A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q: It is
considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist
camps.
One is politics. What is the other?
A: Paul Lynde: Tape
measures.
Q: D! ur! ing a tornado, are you safer in the
bedroom or in the closet?
A : Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter,
I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q: Can boys join the Camp
Fire Girls?
A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q: When
you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What
will
a goose do?
A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q: According to
Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting
into the habit
of kissing a lot of people?
A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of
the army!
Q: While visiting China, your tour guide starts
shouting
"Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does that mean?
A: George
Goebel: Cattle crossing.
Q: Charley, what do you call a pig
that weighs more than 150 pounds?
A: Charley Weaver: A
divorc�e.
Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put
horseradish on his
head, what was he trying to do?
A: George
Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q: When a couple have a baby, who
is responsible for its sex?
A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the
car. The rest is u! p ! to him.
Q: Jackie Gleason recently
revealed that he firmly believes in them
and has actually seen
them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A: Charley Weaver:
His feet.
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