FW: Blonde jokes

[Don Mac Lean]

SUBJECT: BLONDE JOKES AUTO REPAIR   A blonde pushes her BMW into a  gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.   She says, "What's the  story?"   He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor."   She asks,  "How often do I have to do that?"   =======================================   SPEEDING TICKET   A police  officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it  to   you!"   ==========================================   EXPOSURE   A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"   She says, "Why, officer?"   "Because your breast is hanging out." he says.   She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"   =====================================   RIVER  WALK   There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.   "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"    The second blonde looks up the  river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side." ========================================== IN  A VACUUM   A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was  her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &  Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"   She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?" ===================================   FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE  TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!   There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a  tree and wrote this note: I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed,The Blonde   She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.   The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had  instructed. Inside the bag was the following note....   Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!