I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at
the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset
because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly
reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no
need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and
at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave
her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I
told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room
right away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
Number Two Idiot of 2002
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal a life raft from one of the
747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after
they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard
helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was
homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft
was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing. Here's your sign,
guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
Number Three Idiot of 2002
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
branch And wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began
to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the
police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of
America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a
few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She
read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the
brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his
stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip
and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or
go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat
defeated, the man said,"OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes
later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Don't bother
with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
Number four Idiot of 2002
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of
payment, he sent the
police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a
letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of
handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40. Another sign (though this
guy might be onto something worth thinking about)!
Number Five Idiot of 2002
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in
a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the
counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well,
but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over
21."The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to
him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his
driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk
looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put
the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of
the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two
hours later. This guy definitely needs a sign.
Idiot Number Six of 2002
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved,
the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't need a sign, he
probably figured it out himself.
