For those who love the philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity, you gotta
love these...
>
> 1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
> 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....
> 3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
> 4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have
monkeys and apes?
> 5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where
all the bad girls live.
> 6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman,"Where's the
self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
> 7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
> 8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with
soap?
> 9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill
himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
> 10. Is there another word for synonym?
> 11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
> 12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an
endangered plant?
> 13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
> 14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
> 15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid
someone will clean them?
> 16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
> 17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
> 18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the
right to remain silent?
> 19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
(Somebody please explain THIS ONE to me I know there's a logical explanation,
but it escapes me)
> 20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow
road signs?
> 21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
> 22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other
people.
> 23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
> 24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
> 25. How is it possible to have a civil war? @#&%$!!! #????
> 26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
> 27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be
hungry?
> 28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
> 29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in
it?
> 30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of
"assteroids"?
> 31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
> 32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
> 33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he
become disoriented?
> 34. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God
>
