> RIGHT ON BABY!!! > > > I love this - says alot doesn't it???? > > > > > > > > Why Women are Cranky > > > > > > > > > >We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to > > > > >find anything that comes in contact with those tender, blooming > > > > >buds > > > hurts > > > > >so bad it brings us to tears. Enter the almighty, uncomfortable > > training > > > > >bra contraption the boys in school will snap until we have > > > > >calluses > on > > > our > > > > >backs. > > > > > > > > > >Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). > > > > >Along with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get > > > > >the > > > hormone > > > > >crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or > > > > >insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know > > > > >we had. > > > > > > > > > >Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex > > > > >for the first time which is about as much fun as having a ramrod > > > > >push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and > > > > >didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us > > > > >to wonder > > what > > > > >all the fuss was about. > > > > > > > > > >Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry > > > > >crackers and water for a few months so we don't spend the entire > > > > >day leaning over Brother John. > > > > > > > > > >Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn > > > > >to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking > > > > >our innards night and day making us wonder if we're having > > > > >Rosemary's > Baby. > > > Our > > > > >once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole > > > > >and > we > > > pee > > > > >our pants everytime we sneeze. > > > > > > > > > >When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether > > > > >Regions > will > > > > >invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we'll waddle > > > > >with our big cartoon feet moaning in pain all the way to > > the > > > > >ER. > > > > >Then it's huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please > > > > >stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one > > > > >more > (or > > > 10 ) > > > > >good push," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch > > > > >the > > > bastard > > > > >(and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, > > > > >mushroom-headed 10lb. bowling ball through a keyhole. > > > > > > > > > >After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that > > > > >when > all > > > that > > > > >"cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into > > > > >walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little > > > > >poop machines. > > > > > > > > > >The teen years. Need I say more? > > > > > > > > > >The kids are almost grown now and we women hit our voracious > > > > >sexual > > prime > > > > >in our mid-30's to early 40's while hubby had is somewhere around > > > > >his > > > 18th > > > > >birthday (which just happens to be the reason all that early hot > > > > >man > > sex > > > > >got you pregnant in the first place). > > > > > > > > > >Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of > > > > >all womanhood. It's either take the HRT and chance cancer in > > > > >those > > now > > > > >seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or,sweat > > > > >like a > > hog > > > > >in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head > > > > >off anything that moves. > > > > > > > > > >Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men > > > > >get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to > > pee > > > > >in the woods without soaking their socks... > > > > > > > > > >Now I love being a woman but "Womanhood" would make the Great > > > > >Ghandi > a > > > tad > > > > >crabby. > > > > > > > > > >Women are the "weaker sex."? Yeah right. Bite me > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > > > > > > > > Protect your PC - get McAfee.com VirusScan Online > > > > > > > > http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963 > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > > > > STOP MORE SPAM with the new MSN 8 and get 2 months FREE* > > > > http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
