Pilot Wisdom
An airline pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's
flying, and about flying when he's with a woman.
Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a fireplug
what it thinks about dogs.
The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as a co-pilot is
a co-pilot who once was a captain.
Hand-flying an ILS in a gusty crosswind is easier than adjusting the
shower controls in a layover hotel.
A smooth touchdown in a simulator is as exciting as kissing your own
sister.
Most airline crew food tastes like warmed-over chicken because
that's what it is.
Everything is accomplished through teamwork until something goes
wrong, then one pilot gets all the blame.
A good simulator check ride is like successful surgery on a cadaver.
Standard checklist practice requires pilots to read to each other
procedures used every day and recite from memory those needed once every
five years.
A crew scheduler is the type who wakes his wife at midnight to carry
out the garbage, then sends her back to let the cat in.
An FAA investigation is conducted by non-flying experts who take six
months to itemize all the mistakes made by a crew that had six seconds to
do anything.
In the old days flying was dangerous and sex was safe; now it's the other way around
_______________________
Scott MacLean
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
ICQ: 9184011
http://www.nerosoft.com
