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Once again on display are the differences between men and women! This is so
funny ... make sure you read all the way through (for total enjoyment).
Strong Tool Co.
1251 East 286th St.
Euclid, OH 44132
216-289-2450 Ext. 156
216-289-0350 FAX
> Here is some humor for you...: THE COLLEGE THEME PAPER: HE VS. SHE
>
> Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Well,
> here's a prime example offered by an English professor at an American
> University.
>
> "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The
> process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to
> his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first
> paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and
> then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add
> a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to reread what has
> been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to
> be absolutely NO talking and anything you wish to say must be written on
> the paper. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been
> reached."
>
> The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:
> Rebecca -last name deleted, and Jim - last name deleted.
>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> STORY:
> (first paragraph by Rebecca)
> At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
> chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now
> reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he
> liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind
> off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about
> him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
> the question.
> ------------------------------------------------------
> (second paragraph by Jim)
> Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now
> in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the
> neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had
> spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17",
> he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No
> sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish
> particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's
> cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat
> and across the cockpit.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> (Rebecca)
> He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt one
> last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever
> had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
> hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes
> Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her
> newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her.
> She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed
> hurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to
> distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things
> around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
> pondered wistfully.
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> (Jim)
> Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands
> of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mother ship launched the first of
> its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed
> the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
> Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were
> determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage
> of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying
> enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop
> them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion
> missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his
> top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast
> of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor,
> stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his
> fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto
> that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> (Rebecca)
> This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
> writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> (jim)
> Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at
> writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile
> tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F*CKING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an
> air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> (Rebecca)
> Ass hole.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> (jim)
> Bitch.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> (Rebecca)
> Wanker.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> (jim)
> slut.
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> (Rebecca)
> Get f*cked.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> (jim)
> Eat shit.
> --------------------------------------------------------
> (Rebecca)
> F*CK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> (jim)
> Go drink some tea - whore.
> **********************************************
> (teacher)
> A+ - I really liked this one.
>
>
>
>
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