Mailman tries (and I think succeeds) at not letting an outsider know who is subscribed to a list (unless the list publishes its member list, then that list will reveal those who don't hide their email address.)

If you want to help someone unsubscribe without them needing to use the confirmation email, you should first validate that the email address is theirs (maybe through having your own account system where they have confirmed that the email address is theirs), then, using the admin password, check the membership list for the email, and then you can use the web form to unsubscribe them, again using the admin password.
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