--
-Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like a banana. Stranger things have -
-happened but none stranger than this. Does your driver's license say Organ
-Donor?Black holes are where God divided by zero. Listen to me! We are all-
-individuals! What if this weren't a hypothetical question? [EMAIL PROTECTED]
From: Tony Wheeler <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
What we'd like to say...
If I were President George W. Bush's Speech Writer. By Mitchell R. Robb
Good evening my fellow Americans. First, I want to pass on my condolences
to the people of New York and all Americans that are hurting in this
tragic time. You can rest assured that anything and everything that can be
done to assure the safety of our country will be done. This is the
greatest country in the world and we will get through this trying time.
Now is the time for all people to set aside our petty differences and show
the world that no one or nothing can destroy the fortitude of the American
people.
To the people responsible for today's tragedy, I say this: Are you fucking
kidding me? Are the turbans on your heads wrapped too tight? Have you gone
too long without a bath? Do you not know who you are fucking with?
Americans are so hungry to kill, that we shoot at each other every day. We
will relish that opportunity for new targets for our aggression.
Have you forgotten history? What happened to the last people that started
fucking around with us? Remember the little yellow bastards over in Japan?
We slapped them all over the Pacific and roasted about 2 million of them
in their own back yard. That's what we in America call a big ass barbecue.
Ever seen Texas on a map? Ever wonder why it's so big? Because we wanted
it that way. Mexico started jacking around with the Alamo and now they cut
our lawns. England? We sent them packing.
Ask your buddy Saddam about fucking with the good 'ole USA. The only
reason he got away the first time is because it's too hard to shoot
someone when you're doubled over laughing at them. Our soldiers aren't
trained to laugh and shoot at the same time. Now he couldn't stop a pack
of cub scouts from taking over his shitty little country.
Trust us, Afghanistan will end up a giant kitty litter box. Go ahead and
try to hide, Bin Laden. There's not a hole deep enough or a mountain high
enough that's going
to keep your camel riding asses safe. We will bomb every inch of the
country that harbors him, his camps and any place that looks and even
smells like he was there. Hell, we might even drop a few bombs on people
that have pissed us off in the past. This is America. We kick ass. This is
what we do. Go ahead and laugh now, but the Tomahawks are coming and very
soon we will smoke your sorry asses.
God bless America!
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