Part II: 1999 Darwin awards . . .
GRAVITY KILLS... A 22-year-old Reston, VA man
was found dead after he tried to use octopus
straps (the stretchy little ropes with hooks
on each end) to bungee jump off a 70 foot
railroad trestle, police said. Fairfax
County (Virginia) police said Eric A. Barcia,
a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of these straps
together, wrapped an end around one foot,
anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake
Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement.
Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said
investigators think Barcia was alone because
his car was found nearby. "The length of the
cord that he had assembled was greater than the
distance between the trestle and the ground,"
Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause
of death was "major trauma."
LAUNCHED ON THE FOURTH OF JULY... Three young men
in Oklahoma were enjoying the coming forth of July
holiday and wanted to apparently test fire some
fireworks. Their only real problem was that their
launch pad and seating arrangements were atop a
several-hundred-thousand-gallon fuel distillation
storage tank. Oddly enough, some fumes were ignited,
producing a fireball seen for miles and miles.
They were launched, no doubt, countless thousands
of feet into the air and were found dead
250 yards from their respective seats.
DON'T ASK GOD TO PROVE HIMSELF, HE JUST MIGHT...
A lawyer and two of his buddies were fishing on
Caddo Lake in Texas. A lightning storm hit the
lake and most of the fisherman immediately headed
for the shore. But not our friend the lawyer.
He was alone on the rear of his aluminum bass boat
and his buddies were in the front. This gentleman
stood up, spread his arms wide (crucifixion style)
and shouted, "HERE I AM LORD, LET ME HAVE IT!"
Needless to say, God delivered [well, wouldn't you?].
The other two passengers on the boat survived.
CATCH!... A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites.
Big deal, you may say, but there's a twist here that
makes him a Darwin Award candidate. It seems he and a
friend were playing "catch" with a rattlesnake. You
can guess what happened from here. The friend
(a future Darwin Award candidate) was hospitalized.
THEY SAY THOSE THINGS WILL KILL YOU... Not much was
given to me on this unlucky fellow, but he qualifies
nonetheless. You see, there was a gentleman from
Korea who was killed by his cell phone, more or less.
He was doing the usual "walking and talking" when he
walked into a tree and managed to somehow break his neck.
Keep that in mind the next time you decide to drive and
dial at the same time.
GIMME A LIGHT!... Several years ago, in a west
Texas town, employees in a medium sized warehouse
noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management
evacuated the building, extinguishing all potential
sources of ignition - lights, power, etc. After the
building had been evacuated, two technicians from the
gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building,
they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark.
To their frustration, none of the lights worked.
Witnesses later described the vision of one of the
technicians reaching into his pocket, and retrieving
an object that resembled a lighter. Upon operation
of the lighter like object, the gas in the warehouse
exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away.
Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter
was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician
that was suspected of causing the explosion had never
been thought of as "bright" by his peers.
--
John H. Hoffmann
Personal
"If you limit your choices only to what
seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect
yourself from what you truly want, and
all that is left is a compromise."
-- Robert Fritz
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