Patriarchal morality and house chores: Do you believe in life after work?
The concept of the Albanian “nuse of the house” is deeply embedded in Albanian culture and social norms, to the point that a direct translation in English language would be impossible without sacrificing some of the concept’s underlying meanings. The word nuse is ascribed to the Albanian woman on her wedding day, meaning bride. But, as she transitions into her married life, “nuse” takes on the meaning of the young man’s wife, a term not entirely devoid of ownership nuances. As it has been most common in the past, Albanian men would continue to live with their parents after their marriage. Therefore, the married Albanian woman is not only her husband’s nuse, but also his parents’ nuse: she is the “nuse of the house.” Rooted in this tradition, the word nuse also means daughter-in-law. Albanian “nuse of the house” as a multi-layered term, simultaneously meaning bride, wife, and daughter-in-law, is steeped in patriarchal and gender-oppressive practices. The dominant discourse on the “nuse of the house” is underpinned by moral considerations of what an Albanian woman should be: the “nuse of the house” is always obedient, keeps the house clean without complaining, and does all the cooking. She always puts the needs of her husband (and her in-laws) before her own and she is a dedicated mother who raises good children (preferably boys). In addition, the “nuse of the house” is always heterosexual and untainted by lust and pre-marital sexual intercourse. These narratives take place within the context of the traditional Albanian family unit. Far from being a relic of the past, the “nuse of the house” idiom shapes and reproduces gender-oppressive relations in Albanian society today, dictating the moral conduct of many Albanian women inside and outside the private sphere.
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