It is indeed the end of the world! But there are some things you can do
to make the end of the world a fun experience! Who says total
annhiliation has to be dull? Of course, be sure to dress appropriately
and memorize long winded, meandering speeches to the God of your choice.
(Note: Atheists can simply substitute God of their choice for Idol of
their choice.) In addition, here are a few helpful hints to make the
coming of Armageddon a totally fun experience:
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENTS
Your local Phone Company would like to remind you to repeatedly and
often pick up the phone at exactly Midnight New Years Eve to check for a
dial tone. Your local officials would like to remind you nothing says
New Years Celebration like the joyous sound of guns being fired into the
air! Persons with Uzis and automatic submachine guns are especially
encouraged to discharge automatic gunfire to welcome the New Millemium!
Those lucky Americans fortunate enough to own anti aircraft artillery
are also encouraged to welcome the Millenium with a bang! And for Gods
sake, don't let the start of another Millenium pass you by without
starting a few neighborhood riots! Remember, nothing puts the fun in
Millenium like a little well planned looting!
Unfortunately, I myself was unable to secure any anti aircraft
artillery, TNT or other Armageddon type party favors despite my
connections at the DAT Store, so I myself will be celebrating New Years
Eve in a much more controlled, but equally fun environment.
I will be spinning my collection of 500 or so MiniDiscs at Farfalla at
143 North La Brea in Hollywood. Please stop by and say hi-but leave the
automatic weapons at home, please. It's just possible we can start the
next thousand years without a hitch. But memorize those meanderig
speeches, just in case.
Best in 2000
Rodney
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