-----Original Message----- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: JON BOOKER <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; Scott <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Date: Wednesday, 8 November 2000 6:23 Subject: Qld driving > > > >"Queensland Driving Rules" > >1. A left-lane construction closure is just a game to see how many >people can cut in line by passing you on the left as you sit in the >right lane waiting for the same drivers to squeeze their way back in >before hitting the orange construction barrels. > >2. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Queensland >driver never uses them. Use of them in Logan City may be illegal. > >3. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance >between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled >in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation. > >4. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered >"going with the flow." > >5. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the >chance you have of getting hit. > >6. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive >bodywork. > >7. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure >that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the >brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to >stretch your legs. > >8. Construction signs warn you about road closures immediately >after you pass the last exit to the traffic jam. > >9. Electronic traffic warning signs are not there to provide >useful information. They are only there to make Queensland look >high-tech, and to distract you from seeing the police radar van >parked on the median. > >10. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left. > >11. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions, >and are apparently not enforceable during rush hour. > >12. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to >speed up or move over doesn't mean that a Queensland driver flashing >his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot. > >13. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident, or even >if someone is just changing a tyre. > >14. Throwing litter on the roads adds colour to the landscape >and gives Work for the Dole crews something to clean up. > >15. It is assumed that police cars passing at high speed may be >followed in the event you need to make up a few minutes on your way >to work, or to the beach. > >16. Learn to swerve abruptly. Queensland is the home of >high-speed slalom driving thanks to potholes. > >17. It is traditional in Queensland to honk your horn at cars that >don't move the instant the light changes. > >18. Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right >way, except in Ipswich where it acts as an invitation to have a >fight or play chicken. > >19. Never take a green light at face value. Always look left and >right before proceeding. In Queensland it is common to stop and then >decide which direction to turn. > >20. Remember that the goal of every Queensland driver is to get >there first, by whatever means necessary. > >21. Real Queensland female drivers can put on clothing, apply >eye makeup, and brush their hair at 120 kilometres per hour during a >thunderstorm in bumper-to-bumper traffic. > >22. Real Queensland male drivers can remove knickers and a bra >at 120 kilometres per hour in bumper-to-bumper traffic during >daylight hours (who would want to at night?). > >23. Heavy fog and rain are no reasons to change any of the >previously listed rules. These weather conditions are God's way of >ensuring a natural selection process for body shops, junkyards, and >new vehicle sales. > > > > > > > --membersozdat------------------------------------------------------- OZDAT Mailing List Please Note:- Send (un)subscribe requests to [EMAIL PROTECTED] Send submissions to [EMAIL PROTECTED] No unauthorised redistribution of this email http://www.ozdat.com/ozdatonline/index.htm http://www.ozdat.com/ozdatonline/listindex.html http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ ---------------------------------------------------------------------
