I would like to apologize here Carsten Munk and Thomas Perl.
I'm very sorry that I'm so fucked up person and I destroy everything after some time and scare away from me such valuable people like Carsten and Thomas. The problem is inside me and it's all my fault things went that way and reached this point.
I don't probably deserve to be a part of this community. I'm very sorry also that I've disappointed so many people, who believed in me. I'm sorry Andrea, Timur, Thomas Ruecker, Carol and Iekku. And you Carsten, you also believed in me, you was hoping I will get better, that I will finally overcome my internal problems, but it didn't happen and I completely disappointed you. But most of all I've lost in you a very good friend who wanted to help me get out from the dark hole I've entered. I was denying any rational arguments and instead I was pushing into the worst and blaming others around me, instead to admit that I'm the one that is responsible. I'm very sorry Thomas Perl, that I've made your life harder. I admit that I wanted to take a revenge upon you and punish you, and that thought completely made me blind. I sometimes regretted it and felt guilty, but then again it was coming back and instead to fight with that thought I followed it. I'm sorry for all the pain and harm I've caused that way to you. You didn't deserve it.
I wish it all didn't happened, but it did and I cannot say more that I'm sorry for all the bad things I've done and for people I have hurt in that or another way. I feel very ashamed for all that. The only thing I can do and I will do in this situation is to at least try to repair some of the things that aren't too late to repair. I will also try hard not to repeat mistakes I've made here with the other people I will meet in my future life.
Filip
