I would give my right pinky toe to be able to write like that... On Wed, Apr 4, 2012 at 2:53 PM, Fred Moir <fred.s...@verizon.net> wrote: > Andrew. > Thanks for that, I needed a good guffaw. > Fred (mopping eyes) > > Fred Moir > Lynn MA > Diesel preferred > > > > On 4/4/2012 10:58 AM, andrew strasfogel wrote: >> >> ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2012 EUROPE: BY JOHN CLEESE >> >> >> The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria >> and >> >> have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." >> Soon, >> >> though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A >> >> Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in >> 1940 >> >> when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from >> >> "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a >> >> "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the >> Spanish >> >> Armada. >> >> >> The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get >> >> the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they >> >> have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 >> years.. >> >> >> The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror >> >> alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are >> >> "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire >> >> that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the >> >> country's military capability. >> >> >> Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to >> >> "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective >> Combat >> >> Operations" and "Change Sides." >> >> >> The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" >> to >> >> "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher >> >> levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose." >> >> >> Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat >> >> they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. >> >> >> The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. >> >> These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy >> >> can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. >> >> >> Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to >> >> "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I >> >> think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is >> >> cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final >> >> escalation level. >> >> >> John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person >> >> A final thought -" Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting >> >> aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC." >> >> _______________________________________ >> http://www.okiebenz.com >> For new and used parts go to www.okiebenz.com >> To search list archives http://www.okiebenz.com/archive/ >> >> To Unsubscribe or change delivery options go to: >> http://mail.okiebenz.com/mailman/listinfo/mercedes_okiebenz.com >> >> > > > _______________________________________ > http://www.okiebenz.com > For new and used parts go to www.okiebenz.com > To search list archives http://www.okiebenz.com/archive/ > > To Unsubscribe or change delivery options go to: > http://mail.okiebenz.com/mailman/listinfo/mercedes_okiebenz.com
_______________________________________ http://www.okiebenz.com For new and used parts go to www.okiebenz.com To search list archives http://www.okiebenz.com/archive/ To Unsubscribe or change delivery options go to: http://mail.okiebenz.com/mailman/listinfo/mercedes_okiebenz.com
