Went back to look at the 300E that (supposedly) just needs an
alternator.  In daylight it didn't look nearly so well-kept.  Lots of
peeling clearcoat and little dents here and there.  Big crack in the
windshield (how did I miss that?).  The dark blue Tex interior still
looked great, though.  I put a good battery in it (from my 124) so I
could go for a drive.  First impression:  Wow, this thing is darn
fast, sounds great, and seems lighter on its feet than my 300D.
(Anybody got the data book and can look up the curb weight of a 124
diesel vs. gas?)

Lots of little problems signaling neglect.  The heat worked, ACC
seemed to switch between hot and cold all right but none of the
distribution flaps were working (no floor or center airflow).  No A/C,
the compressor clutch didn't engage on max cool.  Cruise broken, of
course.  One window worked (slowly), the others made unhappy
stripped-gear noises.  Sunroof popped up and back down reluctantly,
but didn't slide at all.  Driver's door check was creaking and
popping.  Power locks didn't work---no sound from the pump under the
back seat and the driver's door lock button felt strangely loose as if
disconnected from the actuator.  Lots of oil on the motor, mostly, I
think, coming from the front, where M103s tend to leak around the
timing chain cover.  Other typical stuff that I can't remember now.

Definitely something wrong with the alternator (or at least in the
charging system somewhere)---my VOM across the battery terminals read
just under 12 V at idle, apparently not quite low enough for the idiot
light to come on but not high enough to keep the battery charged, from
the owner's description of the symptoms.  (She said with a fresh
battery it would run for two or three hours and then die and not start
again.)

The fat file of maintenance history turned out to be mostly oil change
receipts from Jiffy Lube.  Hey, at least she changed the oil.  Now and
then.

Despite all this, I still would have bought it for $600 as a beater.
With a new alternator it would be perfectly drivable as is, and a
weekend of fixing the little stuff would make it quite livable.  And
it started fine, idled well, shifted quickly and smoothly, seemed like
all the horses were present and accounted for under the hood, and
handled as if the maintenance had actually been kept up on the
suspension (if nowhere else).

That was before I noticed that after the mild thrashing I had given it
there was suspicious smoke coming from under the hood.  Just oil from
the timing cover leak that had found its way onto the exhaust
manifold?  Nope, this was exhaust.  Ooh, carbon monoxide poisoning, my
favorite!  Big deal, you say, just tighten down the studs, worst case
maybe pull the manifold and replace the gaskets.  But this wasn't any
ordinary smoke.  It was whitish.  And smelled awfully sweet.  Suddenly
I remembered that the Achilles heel of the otherwise bulletproof M103
is its reputation for blowing head gaskets.  Run away!

But I did like driving the thing an awful lot.  Now I've got the bug
for a six-cylinder gasser Benz.  I guess I'll be looking at 300Es for
a while until I find one in a bit better shape.  A 190E 2.6 would do
too, I suppose.  Maybe a 300SE even.  There are plenty more Craigslist
ads to check out.  It's amazing the things you can accomplish while
putting off doing off your taxes.

Alex Chamberlain
'87 300D et al.

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