http://www.mobilegazette.com/mobile-phones-to-destroy-earth-07x04x01.htm

Will Mobile Phones Destroy the Earth?

1st April 2007 

A shock report out this week will show that mobile phones prevent a bigger
threat to the environment than anyone has imagined - in fact, it states that
continued use of mobile handsets will lead to the extinction of all life on
Earth.

The claim seems outrageous, but it is backed by solid scientific prove that
shows that the next text message you send could be responsible for the end of
civilisation as we know it.

The work by Professor Frühling Dummkopf of the Luton Institute of Astronomical
Research is the first in its field, and it examines the interaction of small
bodies such as asteroids, meteors and comets in close earth orbit with the
effective of the electromagnetic fields generated by modern cellular devices.

We interviewed Professor Dummkopf about these claims in a Mobile Gazette
exclusive.

MG: Professor Dummkopf - it seems to us that mobile phones are very tiny things
and asteroids are quite big things that are a very long way away. Are you saying
that the two can interact?

Professor: Yes, although of course it takes more than one mobile phone to
destroy the earth! 

MG: So, explain the problem for the benefit of our readers.

Professor: It is really very simple. Most asteroids are primarily carbonaceous
or silicaceous with a much smaller number of metallic asteroids. Out of this
last group, a number of objects seemed to be anomalous.

MG: Such as?

Professor: Well, 21 Lutetia is probably one you've heard of. That one had been
puzzling us for a long time because we couldn't classify it.. however careful
observation and research has lead us to believe that it is primarily made from a
crystalline Scandium based alloy which forms remarkably regular superlattices
that measure 0.3331 metres across, so you can see the problem straight away.

MG: Go on.

Professor: Well of course, 0.3331 metres is the wavelength of a signal broadcast
at 900 MHz. And it's twice the wavelength of a signal broadcast at 1800 MHz.
These are the most common frequencies used by mobile phones. Put simply, we
discovered that the structure of the superlattice "tuned in" to mobile phone
signals.

MG: So aliens are listening to our phone conversations?

Professor: That would be silly, but what we did discover is that the resonance
of the radio signals is causing electromagnetic induction in bodies such as 21
Lutetia which has the effect of shifting their orbits. That orbital shift is
actually towards the earth. You could say the the earth has been charged up like
a giant magnet and is pulling the bodies towards us.

MG: You said bodies, do you mean that there's more than one?

Professor: Yes, in fact [mobile phone rings] Sorry, I'd better get this. Hello?
Yes, I'll be home at about seven o'clock. Yes, pasta will be fine. I've got to
go. Errr.. where were we.. oh yes, we think that about 0.01% of small bodies in
the solar system exhibit this property. That doesn't sound like much, but there
are between one and two million bodies over one kilometre in size.. so that's
about one or two hundred objects, some of which will be quite close to us. And
21 Lutetia is about 100 kilometres across. If that hits, then basically the
earth is toast.

MG: So we're all going to die?

Professor: Yes.

MG: So there's no chance you are wrong?

Professor: We don't think so, although we did have to make certain assumptions.
For example, the growth in mobile phone ownership over the past 25 years has
been around 20,000 fold. If we assume the same rate of growth, by 2032 there
will be 40 trillion handsets in use on the earth. That could present a serious
problem.

MG: Indeed Professor Dummkopf - we'd like to thank you and the institute for
your time.

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