> I can't believe no-one else has run in to this. Something
> to do with the default instantiation of CGI is my guess.

It's actually highly unusual to do anything with CGI other than compile
it  inside a BEGIN block.  You may very well be the first person who
ever tried.  Typical usage is to do initialization at the start of each
request, since CGI is all about the current request context.
- Perrin

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