To check if mod_perl is loading at all, you could put some warns in your module that you load with PerlModule, or PerlRequire a startup.pl that logs something.
i think i found the problem, its something specific to the linux distro i'm using (gentoo) thats preventing mod_perl from ever loading. i've yet to find the solution, but since its distro-specific, i'll ask on the gentoo forums.
thanks so much for the help!