I think it's the human factor. Look at regular people who start out
having to climb to the top. "We were so poor when I was a kid, we had
to..." followed by "Ah, those were the good ol' days..." IMO, the
expectation that success is monetary is false. Once one achieves that
monetary or fame oriented goal, they realize it wasn't about those
things at all. Success is actually measured by love and acceptance
from people. It's always been about one's people. Without love,
there really is no true success.
Alan and I finally got to where we were permanently comfortable, but
still fought and got divorced (and remarried to each other). Long
story short, I didn't get 'it' until my grandson was born. That in
itself changed my whole definition of 'success'. Alan agrees. We are
now funded to do just about whatever we want (within reason), but we
find ourselves wanting to set up the baby, or get stocks for the
baby... whatever it is, we think of splurging last. We've been there
and done that, and I promise you, the satisfaction and feeling of
success is through this child... not what we acquire or where we eat,
or if we fly first class. If we move up, it would just be for more
security... not because we want to be snooty. When I find that
elusive poster, the feeling of success fades quickly and there's
another poster to find.
Nope, for me, this child is proof of my success. I have him 24/7, and
he doesn't go to day care. I teach him myself. He's 3 yrs and 2
months. He can reboot, refresh, backspace, enter, work all the arrows
and type his name on the keyboard. Besides the usual, this child
adds, subtracts and is starting to read. He knows what a sloth is and
a marmocet. If we lose all our money tomorrow, I'll still be a
success (and consider myself wealthy)!!!!!!!!
I think when young people get 'success' so quickly it bitch slaps them
that they aren't happy. There are hangers on, suers, and emptiness.
They realize their idea of success was empty and alone. It takes age
and experience to see some things with a more clear perspective.
As far as Heath Ledger goes, I don't think this has to do with him.
Just my gut feeling.
You got me going, Greg.
Thank-you!
Andrea K.
On Jan 26, 2008, at 3:18 AM, Glenn Taranto wrote:
Dear MOPO friends,
I wanted to post something about Heath Ledger's death but needed to
make sure I had some time to do it. This is a long post so you may
feel free to delete. Perhaps you will take a moment...
This thing about actors and drugs is something that has haunted me
for years.
I was on the high school newspaper at a time when Saturday Night
Live was in its infant stages and also at its height.
I thought I'd be cute and told my teacher I wanted to go to New York
and interview John Belushi.
She said, if you can get him to agree you can go. I guess she
figured it would never happen.
I called NBC from the office phone and actually got to talk to
Belushi. He said they were going to go to New Orleans in a couple of
weeks to do a show and when they got back we could set something up.
Naturally everyone thought this was a big deal and they couldn't
wait for me to talk to him next.
I anxiously waited for that New Orleans show to come along. Jerry
Lewis' Broadway show Hellzapoppin' was supposed to have a big
special on that Sunday but when the show closed before it opened NBC
was left with a big gapping hole in their schedule. So they sent
the SNL crowd to New Orleans.
From what I read it was quite a party. The show, as I remember was
not that good. I suspect it had something to do with the fact that a
lot of partying was going on. The Tuesday following I called NBC
again and once again, miraculously, was put through to John Belushi.
The conversation was brief and I could tell that this was not the
"same" John Belushi I had spoken with before. He was a different
person. Seemingly not as upbeat.
He politely refused my request for an interview saying he'd been
misquoted enough in the press. When I pointed out that this was a
high school paper he stated the same and said he wasn't going to do
any more interviews. Thus ended my brush with Belushi and my hope of
going to New York to see SNL.
Later when I got to know Dan Ackroyd's father through a mutual
friend he intimated that was how Belushi was. Often fueled by drugs
he could be one person one day and another person the next. He said
if I had called on Wednesday instead of Tuesday Belushi might have
said yes.
Five years later, in 1982, when I heard Belushi died of drugs I
wasn't surprised. It was almost as if that was where he was headed
anyway. A disappointment certainly but not a surprise.
I've never done anything stronger than aspirin. Subsequently I
never got the whole drug thing.
A year and half later, in 1983, I was working for the accounting
firm Touche Ross. It was without a doubt one of the most depressing
jobs I've ever had. Way down deep in the bowels of the Capitol
building in New York . There were two older women, different as
night and day. Iris, the tough old Irish broad, and Irene, the well-
dressed, gentile Jewish lady. As nice as these two women were to me
this was not a job for a young man. Getting slips of paper from
accountants and finding the file, then replacing the file, then
getting the file, then replacing the file, then, well, you get the
idea.
I would sit there hoping each audition I went on would help rescue
me from this miserable existence. One day, on the radio, came the
announcement that a rising young actor by the name of James Hayden
died of a drug overdose.
I had seen James Hayden in two plays, AMERICAN BUFFALO, the one he
was currently starring in, and just a few months earlier as Rudolpho
in A VIEW FROM THE BRIDGE. His performance as Rudolpho was
heartbreaking. I knew here was an actor of great importance. Just
beginning his career and soon to be someone everyone would know.
When I saw him in AMERICAN BFFALO his ability was cemented for me.
There comes a time in many an actor's life when they realize. OK,
maybe I have some talent but THAT guy is an actor! That's how I
felt about James Hayden. The same way I felt when
I saw a 21 year-old Sean Penn in a play called HEARTLAND. There's
something special there. I wish I had whatever that was.
And when I heard James Hayden had died from a drug overdose it
caused me to wonder very deeply, what is it that he had, that I
wanted that wasn't enough for him? He's starring on Broadway in a
play with Al Pacino making 15 hundred dollars a week. I'm stuck here
in the basement at this lousy job with these two old women. If
anyone should be putting a needle in his arm it's me.
I was haunted by all these thoughts for quite a long time.
Unfortunately, to a lesser degree, I still am. Now that, once
again, drugs, whether intentional or not have claimed Brad Renfro
and Heath Ledger these thoughts come racing back to me. What is
that they have, that I want, that's not enough for them.
Now these questions go far deeper than just fame, fortune and the
chance to be in prestigious projects. It goes to the heart of life
and living. Enjoying what we have. What we've been given. Enjoying
the journey, the people we meet and the friends we make. The rest,
as they as they say, is bullshit.
Now the irony of it all. In 1991 I wrote, directed and starred in a
play that more or less dealt with my feelings about James Hayden's
death. After struggling in New York for ten years I finally got an
agent who a year later asked if I wanted to move to LA to try my
hand in television. I did and I've been here ever since.
New York or LA there's been some success mostly it's all been a
very, very, VERY difficult career. And through it all no drugs of
any kind.
Unfortunately Heath Ledger's death will not prevent another
successful young actor from O'Ding. That's the sad part for me.
There will always be a successful actor who finds something missing
in his life and will hope what ever he's looking for will come in
the form of some kind of drug. And always there will be another
young actor with less talent but with equal or greater desire to
have that career left wondering what is it that they have, that I
want, that isn't enough for them?
Glenn T.
----- Original Message -----
From: Joseph Bonelli
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, January 22, 2008 5:48 PM
Subject: Re: [MOPO] Heath Ledger 1979-2008
Latest press releases (I'm at work at a New Orleans public radio
station) say that the apartment was not owned by M.K.Olsen-- that's
an official Olsen announcement.
Joe B in NOLA
PS-- Can't get over the shock at the death of this fine young actor.
Susan Heim <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
I just saw that he was found in the apartment of Mary Kate Olson who
was out of town. What a tragedy to such a young life.
Sue Heim
www.hollywoodposterframes.com
----- Original Message -----
From: Richard Del Belso
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, January 22, 2008 2:48 PM
Subject: Re: [MOPO] Heath Ledger 1979-2008
Yes, this a shocker. My jaw dropped when i read your message. What
a pity...he was such a talented guy.
Richard Del Belso
> Date: Tue, 22 Jan 2008 16:55:25 -0500
> From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Subject: [MOPO] Heath Ledger 1979-2008
> To: [email protected]
>
> A shocker:
>
> Academy Award nominated Heath Ledger found dead today, age 28.
Here's a
> link:
>
> http://www.tmz.com/
>
> Scott
> MoPo List Owner
>
> Visit the MoPo Mailing List Web Site at www.filmfan.com
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