Sue,
Boy was written by Roald Dahl. The section I described is on p. 33-34. My
5th graders loved it. I had them highlight where Dahl used "show, don't tell."
Here's the text I shared with my class:
...We hated her and we had good reason for doing so.
Her name was Mrs. Pratchett. She was a small skinny old hag with
a moustache on her upper lip and a mouth as sour as a green gooseberry. She
never smiled. She never welcomed us when we went in, and the only times she
spoke were when she said things like, Im watchin you so keep yer thievin
fingers off them chocolates! Or I dont want you in ere just to look around!
Either you forks out or you gets out!
But by far the most loathsome thing about Mrs. Pratchett was the
filth that clung around her. Her apron was grey and greasy. Her blouse had
bits of breakfast all over it, toast-crumbs and tea stains and splotches of
dried egg-yolk. It was her hands, however, that disturbed us most. They were
disgusting. They were black with dirt and grime. They looked as though they
had been putting lumps of coal on the fire all day long. And do not forget
please that it was these very hands and fingers that she plunged into the
sweet-jars when we asked for a pennyworth of Treacle Toffee or Wine Gums or Nut
Clusters or whatever. There were precious few health laws in those days, and
nobody, least of all Mrs. Pratchett, ever thought of using a little shovel for
getting out the sweets the way they do today. The mere sight of her grimy
right hand with its black fingernails digging an ounce of Chocolate Fudge out
of a jar would have caused a starving tramp to go running
from the shop. But not us. Sweets were our life-blood. We would have put up
with far worse than that to get them. So we simply stood and watched in sullen
silence while this disgusting old woman stirred around inside the jars with her
foul fingers. (p. 33-34)
There's a section in Harris and Me by Gary Paulsen where he describes Louie,
a worker on farm, and how he eats the pancakes at breakfast. It's also a
perfect example. We then brainstormed "boring" ways the authors could've
written about the characters in ways that wouldn't have been nearly as
efffective as the originals.
Paula/5/NH
[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
Paula,
Where could I find this piece? It sounds perfect for what I am working
on right now!
Sue
-----Original Message-----
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
To: [email protected]
Sent: Mon, 6 Nov 2006 7:19 PM
Subject: Re: [MOSAIC] memoirs
Meg,
Have you shared the passage describing Mrs. Prachett, the owner of
the candy
store? It is the perfect piece to use for "Show, don't tell" in
writing!
Paula/5/NH
meg krause wrote:
Sue asked:
Does anyone have any suggestions for memoirs to use for guided reading
in
4th grade? My kids are reading on levels M to about T.
I am sharing excerpts from BOY by Raold Dahl with my 5th graders to
model characteristics of memoir. Definitely written at a higher
reading level than M but the kids love it. After I have read a
vignette aloud I send the kids back into the text to find a specific
writing craft (i.e. strong verbs, descriptive language, metaphors,
etc.)
I have also used Owl Moon (sensory language) and Childtimes by Eloise
Greenfield.
--
Meg
_______________________________________________
Mosaic mailing list
[email protected]
To unsubscribe or modify your membership please go to
http://literacyworkshop.org/mailman/options/mosaic_literacyworkshop.org.
Search the MOSAIC archives at http://snipurl.com/MosaicArchive.
---------------------------------
Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail.
_______________________________________________
Mosaic mailing list
[email protected]
To unsubscribe or modify your membership please go to
http://literacyworkshop.org/mailman/options/mosaic_literacyworkshop.org.
Search the MOSAIC archives at http://snipurl.com/MosaicArchive.
________________________________________________________________________
Check out the new AOL. Most comprehensive set of free safety and
security tools, free access to millions of high-quality videos from
across the web, free AOL Mail and more.
_______________________________________________
Mosaic mailing list
[email protected]
To unsubscribe or modify your membership please go to
http://literacyworkshop.org/mailman/options/mosaic_literacyworkshop.org.
Search the MOSAIC archives at http://snipurl.com/MosaicArchive.
---------------------------------
Sponsored Link
Get an Online or Campus degree - Associate's, Bachelor's, or Master's - in less
than one year.
_______________________________________________
Mosaic mailing list
[email protected]
To unsubscribe or modify your membership please go to
http://literacyworkshop.org/mailman/options/mosaic_literacyworkshop.org.
Search the MOSAIC archives at http://snipurl.com/MosaicArchive.
