15 years later ... Bush Quells Terrorists One More Time
Dispatch from Reuters Intergalactic New Dehli - Insurgent uprisings in the West prompted President Singh Bush to declare war on the Axis of Evil So much for getting "caught up" on the weekend. > -----Original Message----- > From: CICSdude MQtude [SMTP:[EMAIL PROTECTED] > Sent: Friday, September 12, 2003 5:30 PM > To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > Subject: Layoffs > > Bush Lays Off Congress; will Outsource Lawmaking to India > > Reuters International Release > > Washington - Citing the growing cost of running the Federal government and the need > to cut costs in order to reduce the budget deficit, President Bush announced today > that he was laying off all 535 members of Congress and transferring lawmaking > operations to a legislative support center in Bangalore, India. "Hey, outsourcing is > the way to go these days," said Bush at an impromptu news conference where he > announced the decision, adding, "the American people want to see less government > waste. Since every one of those ex-Congressmen had a salary of $150,000, this move > will cut our costs by over $80 million per year, and that's not even counting what > we'll save on health insurance and retirement plans." Sources indicate that the > Indian replacements will be paid approximately $250 per month. > > However, the changes won't take effect immediatly, Bush said. "Members of congress > could remain on the job an extra 30 days if they agree to train their replacements. > If you think about it, this really frees congress up. They now have the opportunity > to seek better jobs elsewhere in the economy. It really is a win-win for both > countries", he went on to say. > > The outcry from the newly laid-off Senators and Representatives was swift. > Ex-California Senator Diane Feinstein said, "This is absolutely outrageous. How can > a bunch of replacements over in India run Congress? What do they know about > filibusters and committee hearings?" As she was being escorted > > out of the Hart Senate Office Building by U.S. Capitol Police officers, Feinstein > complained that the newly-terminated lawmakers, those who chose not to train their > replacements, were only given ten minutes to clean out their desks and leave the > building. > > "I think it's a great idea," said Vice President Dick Cheney, speaking from a secure > undisclosed location. "The American people were fed up with that expensive > do-nothing Congress which didn't always give the > > President everything he asked for. Our new Indian replacements will be much more > cooperative to the President, which is what we all want." > > Asked whether the outsourcing may be unconstitutional, Cheney noted, "That's up to > the Supreme Court to decide, but as you know, they usually see things our way." > > The new members of Congress seem thrilled with the attention they are receiving. > Speaking from the offices of All-India Legislative Support Centre Ltd. in Bangalore, > new Mississippi Senator Ramchandra Shekar Gupta told reporters, "The Indian people > are very hard working and we will do our best as U.S. Congressmen and Congresswomen. > And we are going to have some Fun too. Just think: we have $2 trillion of the > American taxpayers' money to spend!" > > Rosemary Thyme > > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > and I get to do this for a living > > ;<|) > > _____ > > Do you Yahoo!? > Yahoo! SiteBuilder <http://us.rd.yahoo.com/evt=10469/*http://sitebuilder.yahoo.com> > - Free, easy-to-use web site design software Instructions for managing your mailing list subscription are provided in the Listserv General Users Guide available at http://www.lsoft.com Archive: http://vm.akh-wien.ac.at/MQSeries.archive
