chrissy, quite the well thought out post. as far as i am concerned, no need for regrets. while the concerns may have no simple, or even complicated, solutions, it is still good to air them, if for no other reason than to see how common they are. and perhaps a useful approach will be suggested for those that may not have considered that particular approach.
we have had many of the types that you have mentioned, and while i may not like their style i tolerate them, and haven't given much thought to doing anything about them. the particular type of dancer i was referring, uncaring, is frustrating to me because he is capable of better dancing. many of the other types that you mentioned, for various reasons, are not. others of the mentioned types may have items in their style that i dislike, but still manage to be more or less on time, and remember the sequence of steps. they aren't disrupting the flow of the dance for others. in the case of careless dancers, my frustration is compounded by the fact that the quality of dancing here has declined a great deal over the years, along with attendance (may not have enough to dance at 8pm, down to 20 or so by 10 pm. total for the evening 50-60 on good nights). some people have stopped coming, or talk of not coming, because the evenings are "not fun anymore". there are a number of factors to a fun evening. but not having dances flow certainly lowers the quality of the experience for people that are more experienced and skilled. and one would like to not lose these dancers. if dances are large enough, careless and other mentioned types can be more easily absorbed. as dances shrink in size, they have more of an impact. so, i hope, in at least this one case, to do something positive about the situation. jeffrey > -----Original Message----- > From: [email protected] > [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of > Chrissy Fowler > Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2008 8:45 AM > To: [email protected] > Subject: Re: [Organizers] Organizers Digest, Vol 6, Issue 7 > > Hello all, > > I'm beginning to have regrets. When I suggested that Chris > copy those threads from the callers list, I did so because I > found them inspiring accounts of ways that people creatively > solved what might have been seen as 'bad' situations that had > potential to damage the long-term health of our dearly loved > social activity, and turned them into true community-building > experiences, often making life a bit brighter for all > concerned. This seemed a great thread to continue on our > list -- I was looking forward to learning from ways that > organizers have done those same things - turned icky > situations into better ones... how organizers have taken a > difficult situation at their series and helped improve it for > the good of all concerned. > > In the course of my dancing, calling and organizing life, I > have witnessed many examples of unpleasant situations, > including ones with certain dancers in the community. (We > can all name innumerable dancer evils, as evidenced by the > previous posts -- including, hot-shot, self-absorbed, > flirt-meister, black&decker twirlers, never-on-time, clumsy, > unnecessarily directive... I might also add limp noodles, > deadweight women, carpal-tunnel-inducing allemanders, take up > 6x your allotted spacers, stalkers, needs a shower, > your-perfume-makes-it-hard-to-breathe, sweat factories, > middleaged males who are borderline perverts that only dance > with young girls... really, the list of outrages can go on > and on and on...) I have begun to believe that there is no > way of really removing all of these "undesireable" (to some > or many) people from our community. It seems that when one > disappears, two more appear who are new variations on the > theme. (And anyhow, can we really endorse that sort of > 'cleansing' to make our dance floor full of perfect dancers? > I doubt it.) I have also begun to realize that I could spend > countless hours railing about the outrages of horrible > dancers, but that if I take the time to stop complaining, > there probably are a few things that I could do to make the > situation better. This is why I like that thread. It was a > helpful reminder of ways to take positive action. > > I agree with those who have pointed out in other threads that > it is not the job of the organizers (or the caller for that > matter) to ensure that you or I or everyone has a peak > experience for every minute of the evening. Likewise, I > don't believe it's the job of organizers or caller to police > the dance hall, to reprimand people for perpetuating any of > the above evils, and so forth. But there are certainly > things we can do to make the contra world a nicer place to inhabit. > > At the Ralph Page Dance Legacy Weekend earlier this month, a > friend repeated an observation from a workshop they'd > attended. Apparently David Millstone reminded the group that > a caller is not only a programmer, music requester, teacher > and prompter - a caller is a leader. A leader. And as such, > when they exhibit qualities of leadership, they have the > capacity to bring a dance community to places they might not > have gone on their own. This is is what I noticed in the > original posts about dealing with 'bad' dancers. They were > demonstrating leadership. > > The stream of posts about 'bad' dancers has reminded me of > people in my dance community here. At our local dance, we have: > - a dancer who is truly "odd". He looks like a nutty > professor, has extremely atypical ways of interacting > socially, is fairly uncoordinated, chronically confused, > often late... and... he is utterly happy to have found > contradancing. > - pre-teens who partner with their same-gender friends, who > for months were complete trainwrecks in the sets they chose, > but were having a blast, wearing out the tracks on the dance > music cds they begged their parents to buy, and were choosing > to participate in an activity with people mostly 3-4x their age. > - people whose physical ailments simply keep them from > executing certain figures at all, let alone correctly and on > time with excellent flourishes but who smile broadly for the > entire 3 hours. > > And when I think about the larger dance community, I think of > dozens and dozens of people who quite frankly don't fit into > society's norms, but who have found a place in our dance > community. Do we really think we have to root out all of the > imperfections? > > At the same Ralph Page weekend in NH, during Nils Fredland's > workshop, we considered the question "Why do we dance?" One > response that caught my attention was the observation that > contradances are a community which is tolerant. Tolerant of > difference. What a great thing. We could use a bit more of > that in the larger world. Intolerance is creating quite a > lot of damage, we could give tolerance a try. Tolerance. > > This is partly what I noticed about those original posts. > They were examples of ways that a particular community > tolerated an imperfect dancer, and in fact, made it better > for all. It wasn't endorsing a particular problematic > behavior or attitude, but tolerating it. They took an > indirect approach -- instead of meeting the 'problem' head > on, they figured out ways to fix the situation so that the > 'problem' wasn't causing quite so many other problems. They > were making the situation itself more tolerable for all. > > I'm not talking about ignoring flat out unsafe behavior. > When a herd of 8 year old kids was playing tag on the dance > floor, racing pell mell through the lines of dancers, you can > bet that I wasted no time in chasing them down to tell them, > "Uh-uh. No way. You need to stop. This is a dance. If you > want to play tag, talk to your parents about going outdoors. > But this is a place to dance, to enjoy the music and to sit > and talk with friends." > > When I see certain young and enthusiastic young men out there > who I think are endangering the arm sockets of less > strong-willed partners than I, it occurs to me that I have a > few options. I could tell them they're not welcome at my > dance, I could sternly lecture them about how they will cause > countless women pain and suffering and rotator cuff surgery, > or I could make sure that I, and others like me, cheerfully > ask them to dance at least once in a night, knowing that I > have the dance skills to protect myself and with the hope > that I can help them see the delights of mutuality and > consideration in a dance partner. > > My impulse is to lecture, and to avoid them like the plague > on the dance floor, but I suspect that's not what will make > the situation more tolerable for all. (And besides, it's > partly because I'm a strong-willed partner that I feel > endangered -- I resist their lead rather than going with the flow.) > > Sigh. > > Anyone teach ethics? This is like questions of morality. > Greatest good for the greatest number? Absolute moral code? > Shades of grey? > > Yours with furrowed brow, > Chrissy Fowler > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > http://www.belfastflyingshoes.org > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Climb to the top of the charts! Play the word scramble > challenge with star power. > http://club.live.com/star_shuffle.aspx?icid=starshuffle_wlmail > textlink_jan > _______________________________________________ > Organizers mailing list > [email protected] > http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/organizers
