[snip]
Here is a paired down version of a query I want to make. How can I get
the
"grandtotal" column? I know about the "HAVING" clause, but that's only
going
to be good for weeding out rows I don't want. I just want to do some
basic
math here.

SELECT  a.*, 
        DATE_FORMAT(a.created_on,'%m/%d/%y %h:%i:%s %p') AS
created_on_format, 
        DATE_FORMAT(a.timestamp,'%m/%d/%y %h:%i:%s %p') AS
timestamp_format,

        (views * ppview) AS totalviews, 
        (clicks * ppclick) AS totalclicks,
        totalviews + totalclicks AS grandtotal
FROM advertisements a;

There has got to be a better way than this (which would be a colossal
waste
of computing power to recalculate something that was just done!):

SELECT  a.*, 
        DATE_FORMAT(a.created_on,'%m/%d/%y %h:%i:%s %p') AS
created_on_format, 
        DATE_FORMAT(a.timestamp,'%m/%d/%y %h:%i:%s %p') AS
timestamp_format,

        (views * ppview) AS totalviews, 
        (clicks * ppclick) AS totalclicks,
        ((views * ppview) + (clicks * ppclick)) AS grandtotal
FROM advertisements a;
[/snip]

Use variables;

http://dev.mysql.com/doc/refman/5.1/en/set-statement.html

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