----- Original Message -----
> From: "Monte Milanuk" <memila...@gmail.com>
> 
> Again, I *don't* want to connect to 192.168.56.1 - I want to connect
> to 192.168.56.20 - so why the heck is mysql refusing to do that.

Yes. Now take a deep breath and read what I said again.

You can perfectly connect to .20 - as proven by the "access denied" message you 
get instead of a "cannot connect to host".

You are, however, going to 192.168.56.20, which means that your network packets 
enter the host-only network from your hosts's (virtual) interface 192.168.56.1. 
That means that the guest you have MySQL running on will see a connection 
coming in from 192.168.56.1. The bit you are missing, is that the host part of 
a full MySQL user specification is not the server's IP, but the client's - and 
that is your host: 192.168.56.1.

Thus, simply open a mysql client on the guest and issue GRANT ALL PRIVILEGES ON 
*.* TO 'ijdb'@'192.168.56.1' IDENTIFIED BY 'yourpassword'.


-- 
Bier met grenadyn
Is als mosterd by den wyn
Sy die't drinkt, is eene kwezel
Hy die't drinkt, is ras een ezel

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