Speed Test https://youtu.be/I5vjOb05Izw video When I'm trying to work with speed it doesn't suit me. When I'm trying to work with speed it takes me away from myself and the farther away from myself I get the better it is . Speed for me as a way of annihilation . It's a way of reaching the end and then some. It's a way of going nowhere at all. It's a way of going nowhere at all with the furious pace. It has to make sense to me. It has to make some sort of sense or it's not worth doing. I'm always on the edge of collapse. I'm always on the edge of not making sense not playing fast not being able to do anything. Anything at all. This may be the effects of age or it may be the effects of isolation or it may be the effects of something that I desire secretly more than anything else. This is the second attempt . This is the second attempt with guitar. This is an attempt to outpace myself. This is an attempt to runaway from myself. And catch up with myself. When I was young a friend of the family told me that I was going to die by the age of 25. By the age of 25. Because I was moving too fast. I've always felt I was moving too fast and going nowhere. Nowhere is an interesting place to be. It's nowhere that this music is. It's nowhere at all that this music is. But I can still do it. I can still do it now and I can do it better than I was ever able to do it before in my life. I can do it and I'm doing it. I'm doing it and you can listen to it and the proof is there in the listening and the doing of it. Somehow I dream that the listening comes before the doing of it . The the listening is a form of grace. Not for you because you might find this rough going. But a form of grace for me. And at this point in my life that's all that I can ask from this rough world. That and the grace of sound in a way that I find approximate, untoward , and always there in the background of the buzzing of the world. In the foreground of the buzzing of the world . In this and everything . There without the Grace of God go I. ___ _______________________________________________ NetBehaviour mailing list NetBehaviour@lists.netbehaviour.org https://lists.netbehaviour.org/mailman/listinfo/netbehaviour